The Only Exception

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"What happened to taking it slow, Conrad?" I asked when after chewing the meat.

It's our lunch time, at bigla na lang niya akong hinila para kumain sa labas na naman.

This is our fifth time eating outside.

Noong una ay ayos lang talaga, it was one of his ways to make it up to me. Ako rin naman, ay pinagbigyan siya dahil ayaw kong isipin niyang may galit pa rin ako sa kanya o kahit pagtatampo man lang.

Not until this time. I think he's pacing in his own way now. Halos hindi na nga ako sumasabay sa mga kaibigan ko dahil gusto niya ay palagi kaming magkasama.

I want to take this slow because I am waiting for the right time to tell him my decision. I am buying my time. Gusto kong unti untiing sabihin sa kanya na hindi na pwedeng maging kami dahil pagmamay ari na ng iba ang puso ko.

And that, I can only offer him friendship.

Kung noon siguro na siya pa rin ay kikiligin ako. I would feel those butterflies in my tummy, and I'd blush right away, but it's different now. I can only see him as the best friend I used to be with, not a man I can love more than platonically.

Kaya hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin sa kanya na hindi na kami pwede. I want to help him move on from me, gusto kong unti untiin sa kanya ang lahat dahil ayaw ko siyang masaktan ng sobra lalo na at pinapakita niya sa akin kung gaano niya ako kamahal.

I am scared that I might break him.

Gusto ko kapag sinabi ko na ang totoo ay hindi na siya ganoon masasaktan. I want to tell him when he's finally moving on. Kapag natanggap niya nang hindi kami ang para sa isa't isa.

That's there is someone better for him. Not me.

"I told you, I'll make it up to you."

I sighed when I heard him say the same reason again.

Natigil rin siya sa pagsubo at tumitig.

"Why? Don't you want this? You want something else?" tuloy-tuloy ang pagkakasabi niya.

"Hindi naman sa ayaw ko...It's just that...I...uh..." I bit my lips, and tried to find words but I couldn't.

He cut me off.

"We will find another place to eat lunch together. It's fine if you don't like it here."

"Ayos lang talaga rito, Conrad—"

Totoong gusto ko rito, pero ang iisiping palagi kaming magkasama ay mas aasa siya. Hindi ko lang siya alam kung paano tatanggihan dahil alam kong masasaktan siya at magtatampo sa akin.

"Tangi, Curns." he corrected me.

Napalunok ako sa narinig.

"T-Tangi..." I cleared my throat and sighed.

"Saan mo gusto next time?" he asked, binalewala na ang pilit kong sinasabi.

"Let's not have lunch again na tayo lang dalawa, t-tangi." I said.

I stuttered a bit because of familiar feelings.

Two weeks has been passed and I always try to stop calling Conrad the nickname I gave him.

Yes, I always call him 'tangi' dahil siya ang pinakatinatangi ko sa lahat. I still adore him, but not like I used to. I adore him as my best friend, and nothing more.

At kapag tinatama niya ang bawat pagtawag ko sa kanya ay para akong nagtataksil sa isang tao.

Like I planned, I try to dart my attention to Conrad, sinubukan kong pilitin ang sariling mahalin siya at kalimutan ang isang tao, but I always fail.