• Melancholy • Jaywon

Chapter 9 ▪︎2/2▪︎

Previously

"It's ok"

"I'm used to it"
_______

"that's the problem! You shouldn't be used to it"
"You shouldn't be used to this."

Jungwon smiled but his eyes looked sad

"I am"

" My father's gone and your slowly drifting away from me; again"

"I dont know anymore"

"if my mother really loved me I wouldn't be hurt right now"

"right?

"Im just so confused" Jungwon said choking on his tear's

"I feel so lost"

"I don't feel loved"

Jay immediately hugged Jungwon

"But I love you"

Jay's eyes became wide struck with realization.

'what did I say?' I mean of course he loved Jungwon but he just said it.
As if he had an impulse to say it.

Him and Jungwon used to say I love you all the time when they were younger; but once Jay started highschool and started developing crushes and Relationships they both silently agreed to not say it out loud.

They did this to avoid things getting awkward between Jay and his girlfriend's, or more importantly between themselves.

I mean they both knew they loved each other so they didn't feel the need to say it.
At least that's what Jay thought.

But when he said it; to him it felt different. 'It felt better to say it then to not say it'

He wanted to reassure Jungwon who obviously didn't seem to be in a healthy mindset at the momment.

Jungwon froze
He looked Jay in the eye

"Do you mean it?"
"you haven't said that to me in so long so I just assumed-

Jay leaned forward and kissed Jungwon's lip's

"Yes I mean it"

'If I can say I love you and Just be freinds then I can Kiss you' but only as freinds' was the exact thing going through Jay's mind at that momment.

Jungwon stood their dumb founded, what just happened? Did he just get kissed? His first kiss?

He was confused

"But aren't we boy's?"

"Isn't it supposed to be between boy and girl?"

It hit Jay yes they were boys but boys can still kiss, and just be freinds. Right?

I mean he's seen girl's kiss and just be freinds, so it couldn't be that weird for him and Jungwon to do it.

It was platonic nothing more.

"We can kiss but just as freinds"

"Huh?"

"I kissed you as my best freind nothing more nothing less" Jay said

Jungwon stood their dumb founded.

This logic didn't make sense to him it went against almost everything he's been taught. He never knew two people couild kiss and still be freinds.

Let alone two boy's

"But what would Yuna think?"

"Me and Yuna aren't together yet"

'Yet'

The word yet made Jungwon frown. Just a bit.

Everytime Jay ended up getting a girlfreind he wouild always end up getting distant. Just the tiniest bit.

He'd always end up prioritizing time with them more over time with him.

Jungwon wasn't ready to be abandoned again.

Jungwon held both of Jay's hands

"If you two become boyfriend and girlfriend please don't leave me behind. Please don't abandon me. Stay with me"

"Please stay" Jungwon said sounding vulnerable

"I won't"

"I promise I won't"

"I won't leave you"

_______

Well hey guy's these past 2 chapter's were wild

Any thoughts?