Hard to Love {A Hotchniss Story}

Chapter 8

Only after three weeks was Emily finally cleared to go back in the  field - physically and psychologically - , until then she did the  paperwork for everyone. At the end of her first day back Aaron called a  meeting with the team because Emily asked him to do so. She had changed  her mind and decided to tell everyone at once about her father, however,  she was glad Aaron cleared her already.

They were sitting in the round table room at the table, all wondering  what Emily had to say. "There are things you don't know about me."  Emily started. She felt a little weird about it, but she knew she had to  do it. "I feel like this is important and that I need to tell you so-"

"Stop stalling Prentiss." Derek told her because he hated having to wait when everything was so serious.

"Derek." Penelope slapped him, but gently. She wanted Emily to get it  out soon, but she didn't want her to feel pressured to do it.

"It's fine." Emily waved her hand over the table as if it were  nothing. "My father sexually abused me until I turned sixteen." She  blurted out. It was much easier to do that than to build up to the  moment when she would say it out loud.

"You didn't report it." David said simply, he knew she didn't for the  simple fact that her father was out there living his life and not in a  prison serving time for life.

"I didn't." Emily swallowed hard. She looked down at her hands on the  table before she slightly shook her head and managed to look her team  in the eyes. "I did everything to make sure he didn't do anything to any  other girl, but I didn't report it."

"When did it start?" JJ was the one to ask that question, the  question Emily really didn't want to answer. Actually she didn't want to  answer any questions about her father and what he had done to her but  she knew she had to.

"After I turned six." Emily felt sick to her stomach as all the  images from then appeared in her mind. "He stopped ten years later. I  wanted to tell you this because I needed you to know that what Foyet did  didn't change my way of doing this job. I won't run around killing  rapists to get my revenge, I haven't run around killing pedophiles up to  now."

"Why not?" Spencer asked as if what she had said was the most natural  thing in the world. "No one would blame you, no one should. You'd be  like a hero."

"And in jail." Emily said. She knew Spencer was trying to make her  feel better in case she had ever wanted to do what she had said. It was  wrong, he knew it, everyone did but no one said anything else. "Besides,  I believe prison is hell and death would only make it easy for them."

"Does your mother know?" Aaron finally opened his mouth to say  something and it was the thing Emily last expected, but at the same time  it didn't come as a surprise since her parents were still married.

"No, nobody knew until now." Emily saw in their eyes how much it  meant to them that she trusted them with that. "And I never wanted  anyone else to know. But you deserve this."

"Oh honey." Penelope sadly smiled in Emily's direction as she stood  up and walked to her to give her a hug. Emily was grateful for that,  they were the best team she could've ever asked fo, but the attention  wasn't something she was used to.

Eventually they all agreed that it was time to go home. Emily walked that morning and Aaron offered to walk with her because she didn't want him to drive her. Emily didn't have much of a say in it because Aaron walked beside her. "Emily?"

"Yes." She didn't want him to drive her because she knew he'd have  questions. Everyone had questions, but he was going to ask them. In  those moments as they walked she thought that it would've been better if  she accepted his offer to drive her home because it would've taken less  time than walking.

"Why didn't you tell your mother? Or anyone?" Aaron asked because  what bothered him most was that she had no one. The thought of Emily  suffering in silence and all alone killed him.

"I couldn't." Emily shrugged her shoulders as she dug her hands  deeper in her pockets. "I felt like I had no choice for a while. Then I  was embarrassed because I had let it happen for so long." She sighed as  she spoke quieter and quieter with each word because she could feel the  tears forming in her eyes.

"For over twenty years you said nothing about it. If you ever need to talk I'm here." Aaron said as he placed a hand on Emily's arm and stopped her from walking.

They were standing face to face and no one said another word. Emily  felt her tears roll down her cheeks. She wanted them to stop but for  some reason she couldn't control them, she couldn't talk, she couldn't  do anything. Aaron watched her a few seconds, but he ended up wrapping his arms around her with no hesitation. "I'll always be here Emily, ok?"

Emily couldn't talk but instead she nodded. She nodded as she buried her head in Aaron's chest and just stood there in the middle of the street in the dark in his arms. "Aaron." She whispered after a while and Aaron was under the impression that he was imagining it. "I'm here for you too, know this."

"I know."