Motherhood - Billie Eilish

chapter 1

Tories POV:

"Come on Maddy, let's go get mommy some coffee." I smiled softly at my baby. I grabbed my beige hoodie and put it on, lifting the hood up. As I did so I tried avoiding the fabric getting caught on the charms in my braids.

I picked up Maddy and grabbed my keys and purse before opening my apartment door and walking out.

Maddy began whining and slithering down out of my arms, wanting to walk by herself. "God, alright then miss fussy." I tickled under her arm and she giggled as she got down.

I held her hand and began walking to the elevator. I pressed the button and waited for the ding. Both me and my baby walked in and the doors shut behind us.

Maddy began touching every wall in sight. "No babe, that's dirty." I said picking her up again. We walked out once the door opened again and I digged into my purse for some hand sanitizer.

"Noooo!" she cried as she got out of my embrace again. I scoffed as I chased her while she ran out the door. "Let mommy clean your hands then you can walk." I told her as I squirted some hand sanitizer on her tiny hands. I rubbed it in and put her down again, letting her hold my hand and walk.

"You want something to eat?" I asked her. She just looked at me in a confused manner. I sometimes forget shes only 1 and can't understand everything I say.

We finally made it to the little coffee shop and I walked in. There was only one other ahead of me in the queue. The music was mellow and softly played in the background as everyone's distinct chatters filled the room.

The person ahead of me payed and walked out. I walked up and half smiled at the man. "Hey, I'll just get a small Americano and for Maddy-" I picked her up and showed her the options. "What would you like babe?" I asked her.

"Cookie." she pointed at a small white chocolate and milk chocolate cookie. "And a white and milk chocolate cookie please." I requested.

"Alrighty.." the cashier said as he scooped up a cookie and put it in a bag. "The name?" He asked as he grabbed a pen and a cup. "Torie." I replied. "Your total is $5.45 please. Your coffee is on its way." he grinned.

"Okay, one second." I said as I opened my wallet. I digged through the coins, counting them as I did so.

$2.21

"Shit." I mumbled. "Any time now.." the cashier chuckled. "Um..yeah how much would it be if I didn't get the coffee?" I asked.

"That would be 2 dollars and 50 cents." he said as he leaned against the counter, his two hands on either side of the cash machine. "Oh.." I nodded. "Just take the whole thing off, sorry to waste your time." I apologised.

"Mommy coookieee!" Maddy began crying and throwing a tantrum. "Im sorry baby mommy hasn't got enough money." I told her quietly. She screamed and threw herself onto the ground, falling onto a pair of jordans of the person that stood behind me.

"Maddy stop!" I picked her up and faced the girl who had clearly been watching our conversation. "Im so sorry." I told her. "Nah its cool. Cute baby." she smiled as she flipped her blue hair to the side. "Thanks." I chuckled.

I smiled at her one last time before saying sorry to the frustrated cashier and leaving. "Dont do that again Mads." I scolded embarrassed as I headed to my apartment up the street.

She whimpered into my neck, her tears covering my shirt. I hadn't realised how broke I was since my girlfriend had passed. I haven't been all that bad this past year but lately its been really bad. I cant even afford a babysitter and without one I cant work.

"Hey, Torie!"

I furrowed my brows and turned around seeing the masculine but feminine looking girl jogging up to me with a bag and two coffees in her hand.

"Hi again." I chuckled a little embarrassed as I remembered our last encounter. "How do you know my name?" I asked. "You said it to the weird cashier." she chuckled. "Oh..makes sense."

"This is for you." she handed me a coffee, "and this is for you sweet girl." she smiled and handed a little bag to my daughter.

"Oh wow, thank you" I chuckled at her kindness. "I have no money to pay you back at the moment-"

"Dont worry about that, it was just 5 dollars." she shrugged it off. My face softened as I took in at how kind she was being to some stranger.

"Im billie." she held her hand out for me. "Torie." I shook it. "And this is my daughter, Madeline." I picked her up and smiled.

"Daughter? I thought she was your sister. You look so young." she said in disbelief. "Teen pregnancy." I chuckled. "Ahh makes sense." She nodded.

"So you heading this way?" She asked. "Yeah just towards those apartments." I said pointing to the apartment complex that was in sight. I should not be telling a stranger where I live..

"Funny enough I just rented out a place in there last week." she chuckled. "Really?" I smiled as she began walking with me. "Yep. Gonna take about a week to move in but I'll get my brother to do all that grown up shit." she waved it off.

I giggled at her before speaking, "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking."

"Nah I don't mind, im 20." she smiled. "Oh, im 19. You look younger than 20." I told her. "Why thank you" she made a funny smiling face as we made it outside the apartment complex.

"This is my stop." I told her as I looked at the building. "Alright, well hopefully I'll get to see you around more." She told me making my cheeks heat up a little.

"Yeah you too, thank you again for this." I told her. "It was nothing, honestly." She simpered. "Can I give you a hug?" She asked. I smiled and nodded as she leaned in, taking her hands from the pockets in her long, baggy shorts.

She smelled so good. Like an expensive perfume my mom would have worn when I was a kid. "See you around, billie." I told her once again. "You too, Torie." She said. "Bye, maddy." she waved at my daughter who was standing beside me. Maddy ran over and hugged her leg softly.

My heart had melted watching her be so sweet and comfortable with this stranger. Billie was clearly in shock but she had that look in her eyes like she had just seen an angel. 

She leaned down and hugged my baby properly. "Bye sweet girl." she told her and stood up. I waved at her as she walked away slowly, smiling at me before she did.

I was processing everything that had just happened as I entered the complex and headed to my apartment. I opened the door and my daughter ran over to her toys as she usually did.

I plopped down on the couch and watched her play. She looks so much like her mother. It breaks my heart a little every time I look at her.

I turned my head to the picture frame of me and her mom and picked it up.

"My sweet Madeline, I miss you angel" I rubbed my hand over her face as tears welled my eyes.

I sniffled as I placed it back, hearing a crinkle in my back pocket. I knitted my brows together as I dug my hand in, pulling out a 20 dollar bill I definitely didn't have before.

I laughed to myself and wiped my eyes as I realised now why billie wanted to hug me.