Fighting for the Fairytale

Nora

I could feel Cole's eyes on me in the darkness, watching me. Neither of us spoke as his fingers traced the outline of my lower cheeks, and I played with the soft hair on his pecs. I felt myself growing damper, the pressure building with each touch. 

Hesitantly, I wiggled. 

His erection rubbed against me, causing a warm friction that stretched down my legs to the tips of my toes. Cole moved against me. 

Eyes wide, I glanced up at him. His eyes were closed, but his face appeared stiff. "Is this...okay?"

"Okay?" Cole choked out, opening his eyes. "Nora, this is more than okay."

"So you liked that?" I asked, needing clarification.

"God, yes," he said, squeezing my butt.

I adjusted myself over him. "Okay."

"Did you?"

I felt awkward, but I liked how he felt so I nodded.

Cole smiled at me. Just before his lips met mine, I pulled back, my lips hovering just above his until they brushed together gently once...twice...three times. 

Cole's hand tightened on my neck so that on the fourth pass, I couldn't move away. His lips captured mine, dragging me into a series of hot, deep kisses.

Planting my hands on either side of Cole's face, I lifted my body above his, swinging my hips forward. I rubbed and dipped erratically, the pressure between my legs growing with each movement. 

This lasted maybe minutes. 

Maybe hours. 

It could have days. 

I lost track of time, focusing only on him and me. My arms ached, shaking from the weight of my body, but I didn't stop. 

I was surprised to find I didn't want to. 

Reaching out, I snagged Cole's neck and pulled him into an upright position. My knees framed Cole's hips, and my chest met Cole's. I shoved my face into his neck, panting, a fist clenched in his hair. 

And that's when the thoughts hit me. 

What are you doing? 

Stupid, practical thoughts.

What's your end goal here, Nora? This can't lead to anywhere because you're  definitely not ready for a baby. You can't have a baby. You and Cole decided together that you weren't going to use birth control. 

But he could always pull out, right? If he's not inside me then there's no chance of a —

"Baby, hey, stop for a second." Cole's voice was strained, his breathing loud.

I stopped, sitting on my hunches like a dog with Cole beneath me. "You okay?" I asked, leaning over him.

Cole's smile was tired. "Yeah, you're just... a little too good at this." He breathed, chuckling. "I need another minute. Or twenty." He threw his arm over his forehead.

"Oh. Okay." I looked down at my hands, my fingers interlocking.

"Nora." Cole sat up, adjusting me on his lap. "I didn't mean for that to sound like a bad thing. You know that, right?"

"How is it not?" I felt myself deflating, guilt and shame filling me. I focused intently on my hands in their pray position.

No room for Jesus here. 

"Nora. Hey, baby, look at me." He brushed a loose strand of hair from my face and tucked it lightly behind my ear, trying to get in my line of vision.

I didn't want to, but I obliged.

He stared at me in earnest. "I liked everything we were doing."

"But you told me to stop. How is that good? I was hurting you, wasn't I?" I knew I was overreacting, but in all fairness, I wasn't thinking logically. 

Hormones can do that to a girl. 

"No, Nora, I told you to stop because I wanted you so badly that I was going to say to hell with it and take you anyway, but you and I both decided we weren't going to do that. Not tonight, at least. Someday, I hope, but I can wait. I want to wait, until you're absolutely ready." 

My heart leaped. 

Thank you, God, for this man.

Putting on my big girl pants, I sat up a little straighter. "You're right."

Cole's eyes grew big. "Wow."

Smiling, I asked, "What?"

"I was told those are two words I would never hear my wife say to me," Cole grinned. 

I laughed. "Well, I really do mean it. I was ready to—" I blushed. 

Cole raised his eyebrows knowingly but let me off the hook. 

"Anyway," I waved my hand in the air, "thank you for having enough strength for both of us."

"Wait," Cole held onto me as I tried to move off him. "You're telling me that if I hadn't said something, we would have—?"

"Um, probably." My face reddened to the roots of my blonde hair.

"Damn, now you tell me."

I punched Cole in the arm lightly. "Really?"

"Ow!"

"Oh, you're fine," I said, sliding off his lap to collapse beside him.

"I am fine," he said, turning on his side facing me. "I have you."