What Was Left At Camp

Chapter 18. I should care more

I stopped and turned on my heels to face William once more after he called for me. He stood with one hand over his chest feeling the rings that lay together under his shirt. I smiled at him in response, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm sure you've heard but I'm having a party at my house Friday night and was hoping you'd come." He invited me. "I extended the invite to Mike and Maria already but they haven't confirmed. It would be great if you could all make it."

I don't know why I was thinking more into it than I should have been but I got my hopes up when he first asked. Throwing Maria and Mike into the same invite confirmed he was just being friendly and nothing more. And not that it mattered... I had Mateo. A sweet, loving boyfriend.

"I have plans with Mateo but I'll be sure Maria and Mike are aware of the invite. Thank you though" I replied.

"Can we be friends, Christian?" He asked with hopeful eyes. "Like real friends. Not whatever we've been pretending to be."

I hesitated to respond. It's not that I didn't want to be friends with William but could I be? I was scared. Scared of the feeling growing inside me. Just within the last hour I felt like I had cheated on Mateo even though I hadn't. At least not physically. But emotionally, I knew I was drawn to William just as I had been when he referred to himself as Billy years ago. It was easy to mask my feelings with anger but that anger had dissipated leaving the truth that was buried beneath all the hurt and sorrow. I had left behind a good piece of myself and my heart with Billy at camp. The more time I spent with him not fighting or playing games, I was slowly gaining back what was left behind.

"I'd like that." My voice was almost drowned out by the sound of the warning bell. I don't know why I agreed but I couldn't say no to him.

"We should really get to class. I have history. How about you?" William asked with a smile that warmed my insides and sent my heart into a frenzy.

"Creative writing." I responded, ignoring the internal parade of emotions marching to the beat of my increasingly racing heart.

"Cool. I'll walk with you"

***

"What?" I mumbled, having just taken a bite out of my juicy double cheeseburger with no onion. That's right, no onions!

Maria and Mike sat across from me at the town's local burger joint we had decided to go to for lunch. They hadn't touched their burgers yet as I devoured mine. Since we left the school, neither of them have said much to me and they kept staring at me like I was some sideshow at a carnival.

"Seriously? Maria deadpanned. "You ignored us this morning, walking right past us when you arrived at school. Then you AND William get called down to the principal's office. To top it all off, you're both seen laughing it up in the hallway like the best of friends. So, why are you asking us what and not explaining yourself?" She finished with a huff and learned back in her chair crossing her arms.

So here's my dilemma. I already told them I thought he was Billy. They both know all about Billy and if I tell them he finally admitted it to me, they would know William and I had a past and I promised William I would keep his secret. I didn't know what happened to him that caused this change but I knew deep down it wasn't good and he had his reasons. I also didn't want my friends to continue to hate him. Especially considering I had told William we could be friends.

"Yeah. About that." I began.

"Can I eat?" Mike looked to his girlfriend for approval.

"Who the hell said you couldn't?" She looked to her boyfriend like he had just asked her to grow wings and fly.