Lilac's Lies

Bonus Chapter 1: R

Continuation of chapter 50 from Romans POV

"You're moving?" I repeated the words that had just come out of Lilac's mouth.

This... this isn't how it was supposed to happen.

Everything was finally okay again. Everything was solved. Jesse was arrested, Brett was arrested, the threats were gone. Lilac's conscious was finally cleared, she knew she had nothing to do with my brother's death. Everything that was keeping us apart, was gone. This isn't how it's supposed to happen.

"I am," Lilac frowned as she spoke, but I noticed she didn't seem to be as upset as I expected her to be.

And, like a train hit me, I realized. Maybe, she wasn't upset. Maybe, this is how it's supposed to go... for Lilac.

And I couldn't blame her, could I? Why would she want to stay in this town? Where everyone knew what happened. Everyone knew she was a victim of abuse. It would follow her around, the whispers and the gossip. People would give her a soft smile to her face, but they would turn around and discuss the events that would travel by word though this town like the plague.

I couldn't blame her, could I?

But... what did that mean for us?

"I can visit," I squeezed her hand in one of my own. It was cold, the contrast of the lack of heat alarming compared to mine. "I can come visit you, Lilac. No where is too far. And, you can visit, right? We can make it work."

Lilac's eyes roamed over my face as I spoke, but she didn't have a look of hope across her features. More like... contemplation. I wasn't sure what she was contemplating.

"I..." Lilac started, seemingly struggling to find words. "I don't know, Roman. Maybe a fresh start is what I need."

I felt my hand loosen its grip on hers.

It hurt, of course it hurt.

Was having only a brief taste of the girl of your dreams better than not having her at all? It didn't feel like it. It felt like only a reminder of what had always been out of my reach.

And, still, I couldn't blame her. She deserves whatever she thinks she wants. If she wants a fresh start, who am I to deny that? Who am I to deny her that for something as selfish as my own wants?

It's not about what I want, it's about what she needs.

"Of course," I cleared my throat, which was thick with emotion. "If that's what you want."

"I don't know what I want," Lilac answered, and I could tell by the way her eyes were damp that she was telling the truth.

"You don't have to decide now, Lilac," I reminded here. "There's no rush, I'm not going anywhere."

I watched as she nodded, before her eyelids started to become heavy. They began to flutter, she was trying to fight the drugs that I'm sure were pumping into her veins. Though, it seemed she wasn't able to. When they finally gave up, her breathing slowed, and I already knew she was asleep. Disappeared into a dream land that I hoped was more peaceful than her real world.

I let out a sigh as I stood, before crouching over her and pressing a kiss to her temple. I walked out of her room, but I couldn't help but look back to her once I reached the door.

She'd change her mind, right?

She wouldn't let what we have between us fall to nothing.

Right?