when the words start to overflow

ADHD

Focusing is hard.

My mom got mad at me because I didn't listen to anything she said.

But it's not my fault.

I'm trying.

My teacher is mad because I failed my test.

But I couldn't remember anything about it.

There's too much going on in my mind.

What if someone did a backflip right now.
I wish there were more artists.
Purple is the best color, it just is.
Wait, what is she talking about?
Oh no, I don't know what we're doing.
Okay, what would my dad do right now.
I hope dad cooks dinner tonight.

My brain works differently, but they don't understand that.

I'm sorry.

I really am trying.

It's just so hard.

I know I need to focus, but my brain tells me to think about something else.

And that leads to another thing,

which leads to another,

and another,

until I realized I zoned out through the whole lesson.

Shit.

FOCUS.
FOCUS.
FOCUS.

Does my hair look too big?
Why am I sitting like this.
My teeth feel weird.
I need to move.
My legs are aching.
I have to move them.
Am I breathing too loudly?
I need to pop my neck.
Don't do it, that's bad for you.
I need to.
I have to.
It's driving me crazy.
I did it.
Why did I do that.
I'm pathetic.
I can't even control myself.
They all think I'm crazy.
What if they can hear my thoughts.
They're probably so annoyed.
I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to annoy you.
I just have no self control.
I need to move my leg now.
I like how this sounds when I tap my pencil against my desk.

Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap

"Whoever's doing that, quit it," my teacher says.

Way to go, me. You've just annoyed the whole classroom and everyone knows it was you.

Why am I still thinking.

Shut up.