My promise to him

Chapter 4

The main roads are open out in front of us and the streetlights are back. I look up at Zack under the light as he smiles. I bite the bullet and move my hand up pushing his hair of his face. There's that sensation tingly feeling again when we touch. It's weird but nice and it makes me nervous, I don't know why. 

It's Zack, I remind myself and I try to put Brandon in my mind instead.

We are walking along the final path and eventually we get to the Takeaway shop. "I'll go get the food then" Zack says to me. "Okay, I'll wait out here," I respond. I watch him walk off, thinking no, I can't be falling for him, there's no way; he's Zack. 

I hear loud laughter coming from the other side of the street and I look over. There's a big gang of boys around a couple of years older than me, laughing and play fighting with each other. They come over next to me and one of them tries to grab my waist. I look for Zack through the window so we can go. 

I step further away from them and pretend like they aren't there. The same boy tries it again grabbing my waist and trying to pull me back. "Hey get off," I shout. Zack comes out of the shop and walks back to me. He eyes the boy shoving him back hard and they back off. He turns back to me, "Hey you okay?" he asks me, watching the boys back away. 

I feel much safer now he's back though I won't show it. "I'm fine," I respond brushing him off again. Why did he have to save me? It just makes me want him more, and I can't! We walk back down the path. One of them start whistling at me and I can feel Zack tense a little as he looks back at them whilst I pretend not to notice.

"Why were you talking to them, Brandon wouldn't like that" he sneers at me. What, this again??? "I wasn't, I just told them to get off. Anyway, why do you constantly act like a Jerk about Brandon, he's none of your business to be honest." He stops. 

"What?!? No I don't! I'm just curious that's all, I've never known you to have a boyfriend." I'm confused, "Yeah 'curious' and Zack you haven't seen me since I was twelve," I reply, "I think I've changed since then!?!" I say sarcastically. 

There's silence as we carry on walking until he speaks again after a while, in a softer tone, "So, how long have you been with him then?" he asks. God, we're still talking about this! At least it's an actual question this time, I think. "I've been friends with him for 2 years, he basically got me through the last 2 years when my dad..." I take a deep breath and Zack swallows awkwardly, "But we've only been together for like a month now." He nods, "Cool," he sighs. Okay this is weird, I've just got to say it.

"One minute you're talking about him like you want to murder him and next you saying he's cool? I'm really confused." 

"I didn't say he was cool, I just said that like the whole situation is... alright." I stop, "So what I have to get your permission with stuff now to see if you're okay with it? Why are you acting as if you actually care about me and anything I do?" He pauses as we reach the gate. 

"I don't know because maybe I actually have a heart and I don't walk around acting like I think I'm better than everyone else!" 

Ouch. Is that what he really thinks of me? I walk away from him quickly wipe away the tears forming in my eyes. He quickly runs after me stopping me and looks up at me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he whispers. I look up at him, I can feel the tension sparking between us, "Why are you being like this? Are you jealous or something?" 

He looks me in the eye, "I don't know! My head is all over the place right now I don't know how I feel about you but there's something there, and I know it's not only me that feels it."

I can't speak. Like in a movie I feel his hand touch my cheek and it sparks with the tension. "Tell me you don't feel the same way about me," I look up at him, his eyes now full with emotion and his face a mask of seriousness. "Even if I do, what's going to happen?"

There's a silence. I can't help looking at his lips until they are on mine and there's nothing else in my head other than the need to kiss him back. He puts the shopping on the floor and pulls me closer and I wrap my arms around his neck. 

My heart pounds against my chest. After a moment, he leans back his face up against mine. I feel his warm breaths up against my mouth. His blue eyes, so familiar, stare at me with this new light and I sigh into his chest as he moves his arms up around me. 

Then he kisses me again. All of a sudden, he stops, "What's this?" he asks puzzled. I step back to see what he is talking about. The hoodie had lifted up and he's looking at my arm, crap!

I pull my sleeves back down and try to kiss him again, but he stops. "Emma, who did this, was it Brandon!?!" he asks concerned. Quick make an excuse, it think to myself in a panic. "No! It's nothing, I-I mean nobody, its fine," I mutter. Real smooth Emma! 

He's obviously not convinced, "Please just leave it okay?" I say sternly, and he hesitantly drops it. Suddenly, all I can think is Brandon. 

I step back. What have I done? Oh my God, I didn't just cheat on Brandon, did I? The boy I'm supposedly in love with- aren't I? The boy who was there for me when it happened and who has never done a thing to hurt me and this is how I repay him. But then again, its not like i can ignore these feelings I have for Zack. It's different with him than with anyone I've ever been with before, I can't shut him off either. 

"What's wrong?" Zack's voice is full of concern - it gives me butterflies – No it can't but I have to be honest to both of them. 

"I-I can't do this, not right now, I can't do it to Brandon, it's not fair." He steps closer to me again, "Who cares about Brandon," he mutters, so close his warm breath tickles my cheek. He grabs my hand and leans closer in to kiss me again. 

It takes all I have to resist, "Zack," I say sternly stepping back. He steps back frustratingly sighing. "Please Zack, I have to be honest with Brandon first, he deserves it, you deserve it." Zack looks at me, carefully. "Do I even have a chance?" He whispers, his voice solemn and downhearted.

I reach my hand out stroking the side of his face and he smiles as he knows my answer.