Remdy one shots

Suicide Hotline

Trigger warning : Mentions of suicide, depression

"Good evening," Andy answers the phone. He's been a volunteer for a suicide hotline for more than two years now. "I'm Andy, how are you tonight?"

"Hi," mumbles Remington. "Uh...I'm not great, to be honest with you."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything you'd like to talk about with me, help get it off your chest?"

"Uh..." Remington pulls his knees into his chest. "I found your number by the train track," he says. "I was gonna go onto the rails and, like, wait for a train."

"I'm so glad you decided to call. Are you somewhere a little safer now?"

"Yeah." He sighs. "It's not like I want to, uh, to die. I just..." Another sigh. "I don't really see another way out. It's just, it's stupid."

Andy frowns. "No, it's not stupid at all. You spoke about needing a way out?"

Remington, sitting by the wall by the railway crossing, says, "things are just a lot, y'know? Everyone expects so much of me and I just...I don't have anyone to go to when I need them. Like...I'm kinda' lonely, I guess. And it's dumb, because I have brothers and a girlfriend and everything, but I just..."

"You feel none of them understand what you're going through?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I just want to be appreciated, and not...they just always want more."

"I see. That must be draining."

"It is. It is draining."

"And tonight, it all got too much?"

"It's been too much for a while. Tonight I just...I kinda gave up trying to handle it all." He pauses, then adds, "I'm kinda' hoping talking to someone might help for a bit."

"I don't think you gave up," Andy says comfortingly. "I think you reached your limit, and that's nothing to be ashamed about."

Remington is quiet for a moment. "I just wish there was a way to make it stop," he mumbles. "A way that doesn't involve getting hit by a train. But I can't talk to my girlfriend about it and my brothers would be disappointed and I just...I don't know where to go anymore. Nothing feels right."

"You said you can't talk to your girlfriend. Why's that?"

"It's not that she's horrible or anything," Remington begins. "It's more that I don't really want her to know. I don't know. It's fucked up."

"You don't trust her?"

"Not like I should. She's just...she's just someone I'm dating. And I know I'm supposed to love her and trust her and everything, but I just..." He sucks in a teary breath. "I just don't, and I need someone who I do trust so bad."

"Everyone needs someone who they can talk to," Andy agrees. "And your brothers? I gather you feel a similar way about them, too?"

"Yeah." Another shaky inhale. "I'm sorry for wasting your time like this, I feel so pathetic."

"Hey, no. You're not wasting my time. Not at all. I'm right here for you as long as you need me. Please don't think you're wasting my time." He gives Remington a moment to process, before adding, "it's never pathetic to ask for help and I'm so glad you decided to call."

Remington wipes his eyes and sniffles. "God, sorry," he stutters.

"It's okay. Its important to cry sometimes. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere."

"I just...I feel so hopeless. Things aren't meant to be like this." He sniffles again, then looks up at the railway line and says, "there's a train coming."

"Are you away from the track?" Andy asks.

"Uh, yeah. But I..."

"It's okay. Close your eyes and listen to me, okay? You're okay. Things are hard now and I know it feels like the only way out is to die, but I promise you're worth so much more than to die like that. You deserve a full life."

Remington looks away from the approaching train.

"I promise you, you are loved and you are needed, even if people don't say it. I'm saying it. I need you. And I need you to stay, so you can experience a full and beautiful life. So you can find the love you need and so that you can inspire. You're worth so much."

"It's gone past," Remington says, wiping his eyes again.

"I'm so proud of you. I know that was hard."

"Thanks," the boy mumbles. "It was hard."

"How're you feeling now?"

"Still bad," he admits. "A little better knowing you're here."

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

"Do you need to go?"

"No. No, not at all. I just want to make sure you have a chance to talk about everything that's troubling you. I'm here for as long as you need me to be."

"Is it okay if I just sit quietly for a while?"

"Of course, darling. I'll stay on the line."

"Thank you." Remington puts the phone on speaker, resting it beside him and leaning his head back against the wall. He breathes in the fresh air and sits there for ten minutes before saying, "I don't wanna go home."

"No?" Andy responds straight away.

"Girlfriend's there. I don't wanna see her."

"I'm sorry about that. Is there anywhere else you could go?"

"Not really. Wherever I go, someone will expect something. I'll just, I'll go home," He decides. "Maybe she's in bed by now." Remington gets off the ground. "If she's not, then I'll tell her the truth."

"That's a great plan."

"Did you say your name was Andy?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you so much, Andy. Really, I wasn't planning on coming home tonight."

"I'm so pleased you're feeling a little better."

"Can you just stay until I'm home?"

"Of course. I can stay until you're asleep if that makes you feel safer."

"Thank you so much."

"You're so welcome, darling. I'm so proud of you for getting through tonight."

Remington walks home quietly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He ascends the stairs and finds his girlfriend is asleep, so he goes into the spare bedroom and crawls under the covers, says, "I'm going to bed now."

"Sleep well," Andy says back. "I'm gonna text you my personal number. Please do give me a call if you need another talk."

"Okay."

"Let me know how you're feeling tomorrow."

"Okay, I will."

"Good night, darling. I'll hang up in an hour or so. If you need anything, I'm right here."

"Thank you so much."