More to You ✔

Chapter 20 - Pain (Maria)

Sunshine's expression softened. "Those are different roads, Ria. Your ex needed to control you obsessively. Mitch is... most of the time he's a good person, but he can turn into a complete dick with women. That's not on you."

"He hardly talks to me anymore," Maria muttered.

Her cousin frowned. "You two were so close on Friday."

"I screwed it up."

Sunshine sipped her coffee and waited without saying a word. The shuffling of her parents getting ready for work echoed in the background. As much as Maria dreaded reliving the painful events with Mitch, bottling it up when Adrian had hurt her had made the process so much worse.

"I never told you this, but that weekend we spent on the beach in Samet, Mitch and I, we..." Maria chewed on her lip, pushing away the excitement and heat that the memory of his kiss evoked. "We made out."

"What!" Sunshine yelled then pulled out an earbud. "It's nothing, Mom."

"Tell Tita I say hi," Maria said. Sunny echoed the greeting, sending one back to Maria, courtesy of her aunt.

"That was weeks ago, Ria. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want anyone to know earlier because I wasn't ready for a rebound or what people would assume. We only kissed because I was stressing Adrian wouldn't believe I could move on and cut him out of my life, and Mitch, well... he offered to help because he's Mitch. After, I wanted to tell you but I share a wall with him, and you remember how thin they are. I thought he'd get the wrong idea if he heard me talking about it."

Sunshine chuckled. "They are way too thin. So what happened after you two..."

"I told him I couldn't go any further, and we met up with everyone else at the club."

Sunny grinned. "And danced completely innocently, or so I've heard."

Maria sighed and hugged her knees tighter to her chest. She missed his warm touch, his breath on her neck, the way he'd hold her and block out the worst parts of the world. Now the worst scenario was he didn't wish to be in her life anymore even as a friend. "I wish I had a time machine."

"What happened between you two? Because you looked super cozy at his place earlier and that's not Mitch's thing."

Taking a deep breath, Maria focused on the texture of her bedsheets under her palms. "Mitch has always told me he has no interest in a relationship. It's hook-up or nothing. I didn't want that because I'd catch feelings, but I was so lonely that night I said I would because last week he'd said he'd stop seeing other women for me, and he was being really sweet when I was bummed out."

"Oh sweetheart." Sunshine jutted out her bottom lip. "I'm going to make that jerk fly out here so I can kick his ass for taking advantage of you."

"We didn't..."

"You didn't what?"

"He said no."

"Really? Just no?"

"He told me it wasn't what I wanted, and he didn't want to hurt me." A wave of pain travelled from her heart to the base of her spine as she buried her face in her knees.

Didn't he know how excruciating it was to put yourself out there for someone you cared about only to be rejected? Mitch was attracted to any woman with a pulse, except her. Why bother spending so many evenings together, or supporting her at work, or coming onto her at the club after getting beaten up for her? Had she been imaging their chemistry out of desperation to be desired? Even if he didn't want her, they still could have stayed friends.

Sunshine pressed her lips into a thin line. "Ria, I want to give you the biggest hug in the world right now. Whatever issue Mitch has with being with you is on him, not you. You know what Becca endured. Maybe this is for the best."

"It doesn't feel like it." Maria's hoarse voice cracked.

"I like the guy, as a friend, but I can't deny he has issues, especially with relationships. I've never seen him have one, and I've known him for almost three years. You already suffered enough with your ex, Ria. Maybe it's time to let this go. Walking away from your first long-term relationship sucks, and sometimes it makes you cling to people or ideas that aren't the best for you."

Maria's shoulders slumped. In every way her ex had been bad for her, she'd thought she'd found the opposite in Mitch. He didn't need her to build up his ego and instead helped her overcome her work insecurities and those about moving on from Adrian. When other men came up, Mitch was never controlling or jealous, only in the latter in jest, but he trusted her judgement. He allowed and encouraged her to be herself and to make her own choices.

But he also never wanted kids nor would he commit to a serious relationship, two deal-breakers she'd overlooked because of his charm, and her naïve belief she'd be the exception. It was a slight consolation to be naïve instead of unlovable. Perhaps one day, she'd find a man with Mitch's admirable qualities, but who shared her lifelong desires.

"How's everything going back home?" Maria asked.

"Peachy, just eating my weight in ice cream on my days off. 'Lipe and the girls send their best."

Maria smiled at the mention of her former boss, who'd taken care of her when her ex had her brainwashed into thinking only his needs mattered. Now, Felipe had hired Sunshine at the restaurant. "Say hi for me. And you still look like a supermodel."

Sunshine looked down at her stomach. "The baby bump is coming."

Maria beamed. In less than a year, she could fly home, cuddle that baby, and spoil her rotten. She couldn't wait to be an aunt. "Isn't that exciting?"

"Not with everyone whispering about my marital status like it's any of their business. My mom's friends have her convinced Dan will leave me until there's a ring on my finger. He and I have talked about it, and we don't want to rush a wedding just because we're pregnant."

"That's an outdated attitude. Every time Mitch reasoned with me about my illogical feelings for my ex, you and Dan were his example. If that man believes in you, it means something." Maria tried not to consider what it meant that he had zero faith in any kind of future she and he might have together.

Sunshine laughed. "It just means all his other friends are single."

"You and Dan seem pretty solid to me."

She smiled. "Yeah, we are."

Maria plastered a smile on her lips to mask the hollow feeling invading her. Adrian's whisper echoed in her ear, "No one will ever love you like I do." She didn't want to believe it, but after what happened with Mitch, it made her falter.