[dear readers, listen Summer Walker Ft Bryson tiller - playing games while reading.]
After we hanged up... I couldn't remove that smile off my face. I stayed on my bed for almost 2 minutes not knowing how to feel or what to do... or even say.
I've never been that energetic in my whole life and it usually takes me almost 30 minutes to wake up after I open my eyes... I guess you mofo were working miracles.
I jumped off my bed smiling widely and feeling warm.
I stepped to my bathroom and placed both of my hands on the washbasin... facing the mirror and looking at my reflection. Ugh god... why was I smiling that way? I think I knew it and felt it... I knew deep down what was happening.
I've never seen your face, but I swear to god that while I was standing there... for a second I felt your fucking presence behind my back... I felt your hands strolling down my belly... I felt your warm breath against my neck after you cleared it of my hair... I felt your voice inside my ear... your soft but heavy groans... and I was wandering if you know...
If you fucking knew...
If...
[that same morning.]
My phone buzzing distracted me, so I went back to my room and grabbed it.
• **********
-what the actual fuck are you doing to me?
It was from you...
I read it several times while giggling. It felt like you heard me. "Unbelievable." I whispered to myself. You were the one doing crazy shit to me, so please...
• Reply
-the same thing YOU are doing to me.
I pressed on sent and bit my lower lip. "Why the fuck am I smiling this way... ew." I told myself looking at my face on the mirror. Yeah I know... the ew right? Well that's what I do and say when I feel like I'm becoming all cheesy and you know soft? You made me soft... cheesy and... ugh. I closed my eyes deeply and took a very deep breath. When I took that deep breath, I felt a wave of strange and powerful emotions crossing all of my body and landing in my heart... I felt weak but at the same time strong.
You did that to me... you fucking did that to me.
"Oh fuck... " I moaned to myself slowly realising how fucked up in was getting.
That morning, I kept my eyes on my phone' screen. I have checked it at least 10 times in one second.. I wanted you to text me again! I hoped you would and craved it, but you didn't... you didn't text me the whole morning and I began to lose hope and getting so damn confused. I asked myself if I said something wrong or maybe you thought I was too clingy because I replied fast to your text... ugh I was confused.
"Why am I doing this to myself?" I told myself slowly then turned my phone up aside down to avoid staring at the screen. "I need to get back to my senses and stop being like this... ugh." I said again.
When I began to lose the last drop of hope I had inside my heart... my phone rang... you called... you fucking called and it felt like you heard me once more...
"No way... " I whispered then turned my phone with your number on it. "Oh... " I said after picking up.
"Were you waiting for my call? " your damn voice...
"Why would I wait for your call? " I lied a little bit disturbed.
"Well... you picked the second it rang" fuck me you were smiling again. Fuck! I sensed it.
"I wasn't waiting... you called while I was using it , so I picked up." I giggled then added trying to escape his intimidating questions, "but why are you calling me? It's not the morning, though... or are you missing me? Already?"
"You see... " you laughed. "My mood was about to drop down, so I called to boost it a little... you know... energy!" You ended your words with a laugh. You were lying.
"So you're enjoying my energy, huh? " I asked playfully laying back on my bed slowly.
"Enjoying? " your voice had changed it went from loud to slow... to light... to feline... you were not smiling this time... your were feeling it... you were... oh God.
"Aren't you?" I asked not smiling as well and stretching myself a little. The heat we were feeling at that minute was dangerous and intense... yes! I am saying we because I know that you felt it too.
"I am loving it... " you whispered. " and... " you bit your lower lip. heard you doing it before adding, ".. feeling it hard." You groaned a little.
I fucking melted.
I tried to intimidate you, but it was impossible for me to do so... you were so fucking intimating.
The last "feeling it hard." Fucked me up real bad and I swear to god that I've felt it around me... all over me... and... inside me.
"You feel it? " I whispered to you.
"Yeah." You replied slowly and I felt the heat going down between my legs but becoming more intense. I felt the need to close my eyes, spread my legs a little and slide my hand down slowly... I wanted you to do the same... I wanted to hear it... hear you...
I wanted to moan for you...
I wanted you to say it...
To make me do it...
I wanted to know if you wanted it...
If you were feeling it...
If you were already doing it...
If... you... oh fuck.
After all these years, I still feel it when I think of it...
I still feel the same sensation...
If I accepted to meet you that day... wouldn't be different today?
Would you be here ?
What if...
And the what ifs are the worst.
