^^I'm so tired of having my brain scrambled, sad, and blocked. I block my memories, block my feelings, block everything all from fear. I'm tired of seeing things in black and white, good and bad, negative and positive, and just sad... No happiness. I want to have another life. I want a clearer mind. I want who I could be.
^^My father was emotionless. He taught me how to be like that though genetics or experience, he didn't teach me to share myself. I didn't get that chance. The inability to express my feelings.
^^I love my demons more than I should. I welcome them when I should be banishing them, ignoring them, Fighting them. I love my demons and they love me. That's what I thought... There were two demons... One of the same in different forms but both male.. And I welcomed both unknowingly until I exploded. They caused me to explode. I feed my demons but they don't feed me.
^^If you can read, you can see. You'll get it. If not, interpret. Fuck you, fuck him, fuck her, fuck them. Just fuck off.
^^I'm tired of being the one constantly aplogising. Constantly: "I'm sorry," "I apologize." Next time, it's not gonna be an apology. If you're waiting for one, it's gonna be "excuse you, you're in the way. Beat it." Find your own apology.
^^I'm always the one who hides. I pretend. It's my life to pretend. It's normal. Darkness has been my friend, my comfort, my sanction... And I haven't changed it. I know I need to...I just haven't. Hoodies, dark clothes, stay inside, stay mute, no filter, no help. Me.
^^My father broke me like a piece of glass and didn't come back to fix it...My Father is like a piece of glass: sharp but fragile, see through.
I'm always a little girl in my head.
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The last few words
Разное**I'm going to write a trigger warning just in case. I don't think it needs one but just in case** Things that I never really got to say to some people....or never got to finish saying. Some chapters will be just a thing of pictures, some will be pi...
Painful life figures
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