Never Say Goodbye

Chapter 19: Confrontations & Batrayal

"Do you actually expect me to believe that?" Oliver asked. He hadn't moved from the spot on the stairs and Clark was worried that he would leave at any moment.

"You never called and you never wrote," Oliver said. "You have an odd way of showing you care."

"Things were different then, Oliver," Clark said, "I wanted to, you have no idea how much I wanted to but I just couldn't."

"You're all talk, Clark!" Oliver snapped. "If you wanted to reach me that badly, you would've." His eyes suddenly widened. "Hold on, three years ago . . . OH GOD." His expression grew frantic. "Damn you, Kent . . . I could've been arrested! You were sixteen years old!" Oliver was glowering now. "You have no idea how lucky we both are that nobody knew back then."

He flushed, guilty. "I wasn't thinking."

"Do you ever?" Oliver demanded, "I mean, honestly, Clark. Did last night mean anything to you at all? Or were you just playing with me again?"

"You don't really think that." Clark said softly.

"I don't know what to think." Oliver said icily, "You said the person you were when I met you before wasn't you but last night, you were acting more like Kal than Clark. So I'm expecting you're going to use the same excuse this time around."

"Hold on," Clark interjected, "I said I wasn't myself but my feelings for you were always genuine. I never lied about the way I felt."

"You just lied about everything else, right?" Oliver asked, his tone bitter and unforgiving. Never had Oliver looked at him with such hatred and it just killed him. That look could undo faster than kryptonite.

"Oliver, why do you think I was so reluctant to be with you?" Clark asked, trying to keep his composure, "Why do you think that I ran away?"

"So this is my fault?" Oliver demanded. "My fault for coming after you? Is that what you're saying?"

"NO!" Clark said quickly, "No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm glad you came after me."

"Then what are you saying?" Oliver wanted to know.

"I'm trying to explain!" Clark said.

"Then explain." Oliver replied, looking at him expectantly.

He took a deep breath. "Oliver, that day we ended up in the same sandwich shop, you thought I was running away. You were right. I was running, I was dealing with a lot of things at that time and I just needed to get away."

"What would be so bad that you would run away from home?" Oliver questioned.

"My parents lost their baby," Clark remembered, "And the explosion that caused it was my fault. Don't ask me for details, not now . . . I'll tell you sometime but not yet. They'd been trying to have a kid for years and I figured that they lost their real child because of me, there was no way they'd want me around anymore." His throat tightened, as he recalled how he felt, the pain that he had gone through, the look his father gave him in that hospital.

Afraid to meet his gaze, Clark didn't see that Oliver's expression has softened and his eyes were now filled with curiosity.

"It sounds crazy but that was how I was feeling," Clark said, "Then, Lex died. He was my best friend and suddenly, he was dead. I was supposed to be the best man at the wedding and I never showed."