𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐧 ✔️

11: Too fucking heavy

My phone starts ringing. Ugh, it's probably Tyler calling to say sorry again. Why doesn't he understand. Sorry doesn't fucking cut it. I pick up the phone not even looking at who's calling.

"If you're calling to say sorry, sorry doesn't cut it, Tyler. I need to be a alone for a while so stop calling me." I blurted out angrily.

"Elyse? It's me, Sin." I quickly rose up and sat straighter. It's sin.

"Oh. My bad. What's up?" Seriously? What's up? Ugh I can't even speak properly.

"I'm outside your house. Can you come out? I want to talk." He wants to talk. Is it a good talk or a bad talk. I don't even care, as long as he talks to me. Excitement floods through me as I hang up and run outside. True to his word, he's sitting in his car right outside my house.

This gives me deja vu. The last time this happened the circumstances were much more different. The last time this happened he came out his car, happy to see me. The last time this happened, I kissed him. We kissed.

I sat in his car and said "Can we Um drive somewhere?" I couldn't risk my dad coming and seeing us here. He nodded and started driving.

--

Sin POV

Now sitting in my car, her beautiful scent engulfed me. She looked so beautiful. I had to actively stop myself from touching her. But I didn't fail to notice that she was wearing his hoodie.

I really don't think I can ever get used to it. Used to seeing her love him. Used to seeing him making her happy. Used to seeing him touching her. Every time I see it, it's just like salt on my wounds.

I know it's wrong. But I couldn't help but feel a little pang of hope knowing that they were fighting. But most of all I felt curious. What did he do? 'Sorry doesn't cut it' and 'I need to be alone'. What did he do that was so bad that Sorry wouldn't cut it?

I parked in an empty parking lot. The silence wasn't awkward instead it was heavy and tense. I was about to break the silence when she beat me to it. "I'm sorry, Sin. I really am." She says slurring her words a little. Maybe she's tired or something.

"Sin, I know I fucked up and- I'm sorry do you have some water in here?" She says as she looks around the car. I grab a water bottle from the back and pass it to her. She chugs the whole thing all at once. "Wow, someone's thirsty." I joke. She gives me a fake small and passes me the empty water bottle. She's acting weird.

"Look all I'm trying to say is, I miss you, I miss having you in my life. I can't be happy without you in my life. Let's go back to being friends. Please." She says all in one breath.

Back to being friends? Hell fucking no. I can't be friends with her. I can't be friends with the girl I'm in love with. At least not the friendship you have when that girl has a boyfriend.

'I can't be happy with out you in my life' that sentence stops me from saying no. I love her so much that I can't be selfish around her. Even if it means I have to put myself through torture every single day. Even if it kills me, I can't be selfish with her. Not with her.

"Mhm. Yeah, we can be friends again." I said trying my best to force a smile.

A smile forced on her face and that's when I realized she's sweating. The face is dewy and pale. Her eyes are droopy and tired "Are you hot?"

Completely ignoring my question she said "Can you hold me?" I hesitantly nodded, but wrapped my arms around her waist. Her arms went around my neck. She nuzzled her head in the crook of my neck and pulled me closer to her.

Don't do this to me Elyse. Her touch alone sent butterflies through my stomach. My heart was beating fast. I could never get tired of this. I could never get tired of holding her in my arms. I love you, Elyse.

I drew random shapes on the small of waist. After a while her body started relaxing and going limp in my arms. Is she asleep?

I pull back a little to check and watch as her head falls on my shoulder. She's sleeping. She's acting a little weird... She couldn't be on something, right? But the pills Spence gave her finished, So I guess she could just be tired?

I gently place her back in the seat, bending over to fasten her seatbelt. That's when I notice it. My heart drops as I pull her hoodie a little to get a better look at it. Hickies. All over her neck.

I don't know why I didn't expect it. Still, The thought of him touching her, disgusts me. It just doesn't feel right. But maybe I've been imagining stuff. Maybe it has been him all a long. Maybe I've just been too blind to notice it. The heaviness on my chest returns and For probably the hundredth time this week, my heart breaks. That little pang of hope I had was now long gone.