Luna Zahra

Chapter 20 - Raw

I laughed lightly and shook my head, "Sit-down meals at restaurants, pasta, conversation, dates..."

Ryder nodded in understanding, "We can go somewhere else if you'd prefer?"

"No, no! Like I said, I'm just taking it all in. It feels foreign to me, but...I'm really trying to be okay with stepping out of my comfort zone. It's just...hard," I explained, suddenly feeling a little more vulnerable than I'd like.

"I understand," he told me with a soft smile. "I'm sure it's hard coming to live in a pack that's the complete opposite of the one you were raised in, and maybe there have been times that I wasn't patient enough with you."

"Stop," I immediately responded, my eyes shooting up to lock with his. "You've been more than patient with me, Ryder. This was...just how I was raised. It's hard living one way for twenty-three years and then realizing that maybe that wasn't the best way to live. Night Fire's way of life is engrained into me. I feel so conflicted about everything, but one thing I do know for sure, is that I'm so, so sorry for the hurt I've caused you."

I was shocked with myself. Where the hell did that come from?

"Zahra..." Ryder started, his face softening significantly. Before he could say anything else, the same lady who had seated us earlier returned to the table with our food.

"You don't have to say anything," I told him after the woman walked away. "I just...needed to say that for some reason. I'm not the best at putting words to what I'm thinking or feeling."

We spent the rest of dinner talking about more casual, light-hearted topics as we ate our food. I was pleasantly surprised with the dish I'd ordered, and even began to think about what other items on the menu may have tasted like.

As we talked, I ended up learning a lot more...random things about Ryder. He told me about the first time he and Lena met, how he learned to surf as a child, stories about his grandfather, who he had apparently been very close to, and he even told me about the first time he summoned the Moon Goddess, which had been a complete accident apparently.

I told him a few childhood stories about Zane and I, how Lena and I met as well, the first time my father brought me to pack training, and the time my father let me have a pet fish, only for me to kill it days later after forgetting to feed it for too long.

I found myself smiling the entire time as we talked through events of our lives with one another, relating back and forth to tiny details in each other's stories. The feeling was like no other. Little by little, I felt my walls begin to weaken, some parts even completely crumbling. I'd never felt so comfortable someone else before.

I guess that was the point, after all. He was my mate. For a moment, I found myself feeling guilty once again. This was what I'd been depriving myself of?

Once we'd finished our meals, Ryder paid our bill and left a generous tip on the table before we got up and exited the building.

"Is there anything else you wanted to see while we were here?" he asked as we continued walking further down the concrete path.

"Nope, just curious to see what else you've got up your sleeve," I told him with a wink.

He chuckled, "Very well then."

Veering off the concrete path, Ryder led me back towards the dense palm trees, but we continued forward rather than turning to go to the beach. The deeper we went, the more the terrain changed. The sand that I'd become accustomed to gradually turned to a hard, rocky surface that was somewhat challenging to walk on. For once, I was thankful I chose to wear something other than my typical high heels.