Explosive

03 || The Funeral

The afternoon sun streams in through the slits in the blinds, creating a striped pattern on the floor. My fingers trace the outline of my mom's hair and then the nose. It's the same nose that I had inherited. Sighing, I close the notebook and carefully place it on the side table. I make a mental note to thank the nurse for digging it up for me later. It's been almost two days but I still can't bring myself to draw the tattoo. A wave of fear would wash over me and then my hands would start shaking. Tears would follow soon after.

Leaning my head against the wall, I start counting back from a hundred. It's something that I have been doing a lot lately to kill the time in between my aunt's visits. "Are you sure it's this one, Mom?" someone asks softly.

"Of course, it is. I've been coming here all week," my aunt answers, slightly annoyed. A tall boy leans in through the doorway and drags his gaze across the room. The frown on his face disappears when he sees me.

"So, you're my long-lost cousin, eh? Audrey, right?" He sets the flowers in his hands beside my notebook and takes off his sunglasses. Dragging my eyes away from the roses, I give him a careful smile. The boy squints at me and then proceed to study me with his brown eyes. He's wearing dark jeans paired with a blue plaid shirt. Noticing his athletic build and long legs, I look away embarrassed at myself for staring.

"You must be Josh?" I'm suddenly feeling self-conscious. My long hair needs a good wash and I know my eyes are swollen from crying. Josh nods and takes a seat on the chair that had been occupied by my aunt for the last couple of days. I had learned that I have three cousins, Josh is one of them.

"Audrey, how are you?" My aunt walks to the foot of my bed, her long skirt swaying with her. "This is my son, Josh." She gives me a hopeful smile.

"I'm doing well. It's nice to meet you," I say to Josh who gives me another nod. A wave of silence passes over us, making me shift awkwardly. The pain that travels across my leg is dull, I can barely feel it. But it's there, a reminder of that horrible day.

"I'll be right back," my aunt says, more to herself than us, while she digs through her purse. I plead with my eyes, hoping that she'll realize that I don't want to be left alone with a stranger. But she doesn't pick up on my feelings. She rushes out the door without looking back at me.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your Mom," Josh finally mumbles, keeping his eyes set on me. When I don't respond right away, he pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through it. Frowning at his nonchalant behavior, I pull the notebook back onto my lap.

"Thank you," I respond. Josh gives me a smile and returns to his phone. I wonder who he's texting. The thought of texting reminds me of my best friend, Emily. My phone battery had died but knowing Emily, she had probably tried to call anyways. But all that seems so far away, school, friends, my home. Everything has changed.

"I forgot to...bring...this." My aunt barges through the door, her face red and her hand clutching a candy bar.

"You didn't have to do that," I say, the feeling of guilt settling over me. She hands me the Oh Henry! and takes a seat on the bed beside me. She is a tiny woman, smaller than my mom even though she is older than her. But the way my aunt carries herself with confidence and a slight hint of authority resembles my mom's style.

"Don't you worry about a thing." She squeezes my hand and looks at her son.

"Mom, I could have gotten it for you," he says, his voice low as he glances at his phone another time. Aunt Jane rolls her eyes and waves her hand in his direction. "Oh yeah, Mom. Do you know Blake's here?"

Her eyes widen and she presses a hand to her chest. She's wearing bright red nail polish that matches her lipstick. "Oh, dear god, is everything okay?"