A Second Chance (Marco x Fem Reader)

Chapter 62

Mikasa hasn't even stepped a foot inside the room since you returned. One time you mustered enough energy to ask Armin why, to which he told you that she's been sleeping on the sofa in one of the common rooms, avoiding your room every chance she got. You both sorely needed each other's comfort, but as long as you stayed cooped up in that room you weren't going to see her anytime soon. Your coping mechanisms seems to be complete opposite of each other.

Levi, Hange and Moblit had also checked in on you a few times before Levi had to leave with Zeke and a handful of other scouts. They had made sure to take time out of their busy schedule to check in on everyone.

The only words you ever spoke were those telling them that they didn't have to do this for you. You knew they were hurting as well, and the last thing you wanted to do was to be a burden. It was not until Sasha's funeral came around on the fourth day, and her sheets didn't smell like her anymore, that you actually left your room, wanting to take part in your sisters send off.

You felt bad for isolation yourself that way, considering you had originally decided to stay strong and be there for Connie especially, after hearing him unravel on the airship. If you considered Sasha your sister, you couldn't even begin to imagine how Connie felt. They were like twins, always like attached at the hips... However, it was like something snapped the second you entered your room alone the night of your return. Just like that it dawned on you; You would never get to see her again. Never get to hear her voice, feel her hands grab at your wrists as she pulled you out of bed to drag you off to breakfast. You would never get to hear her laugh or jokes ever again... And worst of all; never get to take afternoon strolls together in the future with both of yours' kids, just like you always talked about you would once the world turned normal. You had so many fun dreams and adventures planned, that you'll never get to do now; a very key person in those scenarios now shot and taken away from you...

~
Personal/optional song recommendation: Something chimes in me (Magafono), by Cirque Éloize

The day after the funeral, you stepped foot outside HQ for the second time in five days. You had woken up early that day out of habit. You still found yourself looking over at her bed, expecting your gaze to meet a sleeping Sasha, but as always you were rewarded with a pang of sadness and disappointment once seeing it was empty. Lazily you got yourself ready, putting on your military coat and pulling the knee-high boots on. You had walked to mess hall with your head bowed, quickly grabbing some of the pastries placed at the serving station, before quickly making your way out.

The sky was grey and cloudy, matching the gnawing feeling inside your chest. You clutched onto the food cradled in your arms more tightly as you entered the military graveyard, eyes on the path, avoiding looking at anything else until you reached her grave. Once there you knelt down in front of it, staring at the letters engraved into the stone, still in slight disbelief that her name was on one of these stones.

You gently placed four of the rolls and tarts on the ground, in front of the flowers, cards and letters resting against the stone. You only kept one roll for yourself, knowing Sasha usually ate tripled the amount as you during breakfast. Nibbling on the corner, you watched the pastries lined up in front of you intently, almost expecting bites to be taken out of them right in front of your eyes. But they stayed perfectly still.

"I haven't really had an appetite as of late Sasha...", you started saying, her name feeling foreign coming out of your mouth. "I brought you a little extra,- figured you'd be hungry at this hour...". You listened to the silence for a moment, before sighing.

'What the hell are you doing Y/N?'

You looked down on your hand, studying the bite mark that will forever stay there. You smiled, suddenly happy Sasha bit you that time you tasted Nicolo's food. It sounds weird, but it's like you have a permanent physical evidence that she existed, just like the scars from the titan attacks decorating your body. The mark reminded you of those Petra and the Levi Squad had, and you smiled a sad smile remembering them.