The Lion Shifters mate {mxm}

Chapter Twenty Two.

"Kyle!" squealed my friend, Jude burst into the room and I am sure he would have leapt on the bed if Jace had not wrapped his arms around his waist at that moment and held him back. I chuckled at his antics wincing with pain and tightness in my chest as a chuckle became a cough.  Mark leapt from his chair and filled a glass with water to my lips concern written all over his face I shook my head no the coughing fit already subsiding, broken ribs hurt like a bitch. Mark frown worry clearly etched on his face as he turns to glare at Jude, ''that's enough mark'' I mutter under my breath god he can be so over protective. 

"What did we discuss outside baby" Jace grunted as he pulled Jude into his chest.

My friend turned his head to his mate scowling his fists clenched Jace just raised his eyebrows  at him and he crumbled. 

"fine" he mumbled "I will be calmer".

''|And?''

''I will not pounce on my friend the second I enter the room .....but Jace..'' he whined. 

But nothing, you promised he said pecking my friends head Jude scowled ''fine I'll behave'' he mumbled sighing. 

I had to supress the urge to chuckle at the sullen pout on his face, "Hey Jude"

"Hey Kyle'' he whimpers tears beginning to form in his eyes ''I missed you so much "I...I have been so scared for you ".

"I'm okay really" Jude sniffled loudly ''Hey don't cry I am back and I am safe now'', 

'I thought we had lost you Kyle, What the hell happened''

I didn't miss how Jace's arms tightened on my friends arm or the scowl from Mark that I chose to ignore. It had been two days since I was rescued and I knew my friend had been waiting to see me the whole time but I had resisted seeing anyone except for Mark, I really did not want to talk about what happened and I knew Jude would be full of questions that I did not want to answer.

''Jude I am sorry, I will tell you but right now I really do not want to talk about what happened please understand''. 

My friend nodded in understanding ''okay whenever you want to talk I will always be here to listen okay''. 

'Okay'' I mumbled looking down at his hands as he rested a hand  on my arm, his eyes took in my hand my fingers were still swollen, and numb but I was hopeful that I would get full use of my hands back and apart from the hyperthermia and the two broken ribs I'd say I had been fairly lucky, ''They will be fine Jude I reassured him, once the swelling and blisters go down I should regain a lot more of the feeling''.

''We will get you the best physio that we can get babe'',  Mark chipped in. 

Truthfully though I just wanted to put the whole thing behind us, especially the part where Artemis had killed Grant I was slipping in and out of consciousness at the time barely aware of my surroundings, but the one thing I remembered vividly was the terrifying sight of  Artemis as his jaws clamped down on Grants neck before I lost consciousness again.

I know I should talk to mark about it, the guy had kidnapped me left me in a cellar god knows how long in the freezing cold with no food or water I get marks anger but had he deserved to die? to my mind the guy was mentally ill, unwell could he not have been helped rather than killed? It was a questioned that I had run through my mind over and over again since I had woken yesterday but I was afraid of the answers I may get. I love mark with my whole soul but maybe I had been seeing him through the rose tinted lens of love not really given full consideration to the fact that within the man I adored with my whole being was a wilder soul of a lion who could and did kill another person how many had he killed so effortlessly. was this normal, commonplace in the shifter world, was I even right to have all these conflicting emotions?

"Kyle... Kyle".

"Hmm.... sorry you said something".

"It's okay you still look very tired I will come back and see you again later" Jude's face was filled with concern.

"Sorry Jude your right I am still a little out of it hun", I smiled weakly "thank you so much for all the support you and Jace gave to mark".

"Anytime babes" he smiled gently rubbing my arm before leaning over he pecked me on the cheek I will be back later okay get some rest" 

I lay back on the bed watching as Jude and Jace left the room.

"Do you want to talk about what is on your mind" mark sighed after they closed the door,

"there's Nothing..." I frowned looking away from the door to mark. 

"Don't say it is nothing I can feel your emotions Kyle and they are all over the place since you woke yesterday".

"Really Mark it is nothing I am just tired thats all". I smiled at him weakly, How can I tell the love of my life I am afraid of the other half of who he is? 

"Babe please I just.... I just want...."

"I said I was fine Mark please just let me be" I turned my face away from him and closed my eyes willing my breathing to slow enough to convince him I was asleep.

******

He turned his face away from me and closed his eyes I was stunned he had never snapped at me like before that I had expected him to be traumatised by his experience had braced myself for it even but he had not talked once since he woke up about what happened to him in that cellar. I had tried to talk to him but he had shut me down each time I had tried. When I spoke to the doctor about he he suggested that Kyle may be experiencing some PTSD from his experience and to give him time it had only been a day, he even suggested that a therapist may be of help though it would have to be a shifter friendly one as there were aspects he would not be able to speak freely to a human therapist about.  

Blake had suggested as much when he had popped in yesterday evening to see how he was doing, like the doctor he reminded me it had only been a day, Kyle was recovering still give it time, and they are right but there was a fear in me that I could not shift and did not want to voice out loud had he been conscious when I killed Blake was he afraid of me of Artemis. If he had witnessed it would he see us differently now? I watched silently as Kyles breathing slowed, If he thought his charade was fooling anyone he was wrong, I could tell he was not asleep  his heart rate was still going like the clappers for one.

Kyle ...Sweetheart I know you do not want to talk to me about what happened to you with Grant and I respect that, you can speak to me later about that or if you prefer with a councillor or therapist sometimes strangers are easier to talk to, what ever you need" I swallowed taking the plunge "I have to admit that I am scared that some of what you are feeling may be directed at Artemis and me"  he sighed his eyes fluttered open their beautiful depths pooled with unshed tears threatening to fall.

"I love you Mark and Artemis but... I am scared you....he killed..... he it was all so fast and he...."

And my heart sunk like a stone.