Tartan Books & Longing Looks

Pregnancies & Gay Tendencies

One thing that the trio clearly hadn't considered was that they were in fact, in London, and when in London, there's bound to be a ridiculous amount of traffic.
"This is bullshit, The funeral will probably be over by now," James whined, sticking his head out of the car window - looking at the miles of cars in front of them. "Don't worry, they're probably having one of those fancy funerals, it'll be going on all day," Lily said reassuringly, putting a hand on James' shoulder in an effort to try and calm his nerves. James tutted but he stopped fidgeting and placed his hand over Lily's.

Remus peered knowingly at the two, a small smile on his face as he watched Lily's face burn scarlet, however, he agreed with James, they needed to escape this traffic.
"Are we ever going to move?" Remus said, tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.
"Okay, I admit that I really need to pee, I'm basically pregnant with pee," Lily adds, leaning back and grabbing her stomach like it was a pregnant belly. James laughed, shaking his head at Lily fondly. However, Remus paused, glancing over at the pretend pregnant Lily, beginning to cook up an idea.

"Wait, Lily, say that again," Remus asked, turning around and giving Lily a mischievous grin.
"I really need to pee?" Lily repeated, sitting back up and looking at Remus suspiciously. Remus laughed and shook his head, "No, no, that other thing." Lily looked at him quizzically, but answered, "I feel pregnant. With. Pee?" Lily repeated slowly, but this time it clicked, as she looked back at Remus with a similar look. James, who hadn't quite clocked it yet, waved a hand in front of the two, bringing back the attention to himself."Uh hello? You two are doing it again! Can you Scots read each other's minds or something? There's still a very confused Englishman here!"

The pair laughed, but Remus turned to James, pointing out of the window to a road worker, who was sitting alone in his truck.
"Go and tell that worker that we need to get out of this traffic because we have a pregnant woman in labour." James immediately caught on, and he smiled, climbing out of the passenger seat and across the road. Remus, once again, thanked the world for James Potter.
"Right, get our clothes from the boot and stuff them up your top... Oh and look in pain!" Remus said, and Lily grinned before turning back to grab some clothes.

After ten minutes of driving and laughter, accompanied by a very convincing performance of screams of pain from Lily, the three were finally outside of the church. "I can't believe that actually worked! You're mental Moony!" James laughed, as Remus parked the car on the very busy street outside of the church.
"Lily's the mental one, if I didn't know better, I'd be driving you to the hospital as we speak," Remus said, looking back at Lily - who was grinning in pride at her outstanding performance. "That poor lad's face, he looked grey and all," Lily giggled along, pulling out the last of the t-shirts she had shoved up her top. The three laughed along but abruptly stopped as if they had all just remembered why they were there in the first place.
"Is this it then? God, it's huge, what are they? millionaires or sommet?" Lily said, and James laughed a tuneless laugh.

"Well, technically, yes - they are..." James said, and the last of Lily's smile was wiped off of her face.
"Listen, guys, maybe I should just go in by myself-" James began chivalrously, but Remus rolled his eyes at the man.
"Now's not the time to be a hero Prongs, now's the time to tell us anything we need to know about this bonkers family he's got," Remus said calmly, sensing the anxiety that was radiating from James.
James sighed and leaned back, dragging a clammy hand through his constantly dishevelled curls. "Right, so basically , the Black family runs the biggest oil industry in Britain, and they just happen to be one of the oldest and most old-fashioned families." James sighed but continued, still not meeting their curious eyes.
"And when I say old fashioned, what I really mean is racist, homophobic, sexist... Well basically, everything ending with an 'ist."

Lily nodded in sympathy and flashed Remus a worried look - which he returned with a similar stare.
"Sirius had been trained his whole life to believe in that shit, and to one day inherit the business from his father, but obviously - Sirius didn't meet their standard of bigotry, being gay and all," James said, meeting their eyes finally before continuing.
"Anyway, so when Sirius came to Hogwarts, which was our boarding school, we became best friends, and to nobody's surprise - Walburga and Orion Black weren't exactly chuffed with their son being besties with a brown, first-generation immigrant scouse twat whose dad was actively working on a court-case to sue Black Inc..." James said, smiling to himself like he was reliving a cherished memory.
"So what happened then? How did he manage to escape them?" Lily asked nervously.

"It was in our fifth year of school when we both went home for Christmas - they... They tried to get him to sign the papers to take over the business, and well - they used every form of abuse to try to get him to do it," James said, his face twisting in anger. "Thank god he didn't though, he managed to get away - and we've been living together ever since."
Remus felt a surge of sympathy and affection for Sirius, he understood perfectly what it was like to run away from home, he was glad that he had James, Remus couldn't have imagined what would have happened to him if he hadn't had Lily.
"So Regulus is his brother?" Remus asked, and James nodded. "Yeah Reg was his younger brother.." James corrected, looking guilty.

"So he hasn't seen them since.." Lily asked,
"..Since they almost beat him to death? Yes," James answered, a morbid laugh escaping him.