INDOMITUS [18+]✔️

27: Aubade (R)

It felt as if I was falling into an abyss of darkness, an abyss full of my demons that I had thought I had gotten rid of, screaming and reaching out to me in their grotesque form- their mouths open, ever ready to swallow and cover me in infernal darkness.

Ares would know, sooner or later, but I knew I had to do what was right. I knew if Archer let the hospital know, I would be in trouble.

I didn't want my depravity to affect Ares in any way. I knew if the hospital came to know of it, they would probably make the information public. News travelled fast and he would have to face the consequences of being involved with someone like me.

I would never want that for him. He was an elegance, man that carried the aura of regality and respect, whereas I was the complete opposite of him.

I shook my head. Never. I could never let anyone know that I slept with Ares.

I looked up at the night sky that was dusted in glitter, glistening tears blurred my vision as I thought more and some more.

There was no way out. I dug my own grave.

My cheeks and eyes hurt from crying all day. I confined myself to my room, crying for hours. My throat was scratchy, my head pounding, yet the pain in my heart only intensified.

Ares didn't show up the whole day. His car was missing. I only prayed that he got back sooner, I wanted to utilize the small amount of time I had left with him.

More tears escaped as I tried to think how Ares would react to my disappearance. Would he be shocked? Would he be hurt that I left him?

Bold of you to assume that he would care about you leaving.

He probably wouldn't. He probably wouldn't care about me leaving. He probably would forget about me and move on. Find someone nicer, better. Someone who was perfect and someone who didn't have the baggage of the past with her.

A sob escaped me as I gasped for breath. My only regret would be that I couldn't spend more time with him. I wanted to play chess with him and have him teach me one or two techniques. I wanted to discuss all those I found fascinating and beautiful. I wanted to do so much with him.

I wanted him to see me, and tell me I was beautiful.

I wanted to know more about his brothers, his military life and bitch about Britney.

Why must everything be so hard?

I wiped away my tears frantically, the damn things wouldn't stop. I wanted to scream, at myself, at my demons. I wanted to tear everything apart.

I was so weak.

My nails dug into my palms as my mind conjured up many different scenarios. I felt numb, shattered. I looked at my hands, my palm was drenched in blood, my nails digging into the skin and drawing more of the liquid, warm crimson.

The sound of a revving engine broke my trance as I glanced out of the window. Ares' car came into view. It was parked and the engine was killed; his tall form lurked like a shadow as he let himself out of the car.

My heart pounded, the sound of my blood rushing through my body became deafening in my ears as I stared at him. An eternity seemed to have passed, like many monsoon and tide blending into each other as he let himself in.

Should I see him?

Should I not?

I grabbed a box of cotton from the drawer and cleaned my blood, pressing it on the wound, hissing when it burned a little. I willed to calm myself down.