Lost In My Feelings

Chapter 22

1 week later.

it's been a whole week now, and Irene didn't attend classes for the whole week, i was asking her through the phone why wasn't she answering to my calls, but her line is always busy, and not answering to my calls.

did she left me like what Suga did?

oh fuck, same shit's going through my mind again, and i have Autophobia, which means i have the phobia of being left alone, but i like it when i'm alone in my room, i find peace, but when people leave me, it just hits me hard.

every person in my life means so much to me, and i'm scared if they would leave me, especially when it's my bestfriend, everyone can leave me, but please, not her, she shown me lots of love, and appreciation, and i still need her, please.

i'm at my classroom right now, and i'm alone at my seat, no one's with me, since Irene stopped attending her classes, i'm not used of her not being here with me, she used to be with me every single day.

our professor today is Professor Hoseok, and he's teaching the importance of laws and justice in this nation, and i'm taking down some notes.

professor Hoseok: learning laws is important because we have to know what's justice and injustice, having knowledge about the situations can always help us in our daily lives, and to be aware of the country's laws.

his words were loud, and enough for all of us to hear, and i took my pen to take down some notes on my notebook, but my mind is still focused on another thing.

-

after classes.

it's after class now, and i don't have a scheduled therapy with Jin today, and my mood isn't great right now, i kinda find it upsetting how things and time changes so fast.

i'm with my bro right now, and we're walking home, he noticed that my mood changed, and i was just staring at the floor the entire time, he's now suspicious.

Baekhyun: hey, you okay? is there smth wrong?

i looked up to him, and stayed in a silent manner, if i say yes, he would disagree, so i nodded my head.

me: honestly, no, Irene didn't attend our class for a whole week, and i don't have any therapy sessions with Doc. Jin today.

i chuckled my words, but deep inside, i'm so broken today.

Baekhyun: i think she's just dealing with something in her life, try talking to her.

me: but i kept calling her several times, and spamming our chats, but i'm always left in delivered, but she's always active in her social medias.

Baekhyun: really? well, we don't know what she's going through, but i think she just needs to cut off with stress in her life.

me: s-so i'm the whole cause of her stress?

Baekhyun took a deep sigh and continued to explain while we're on the way.

Baekhyun: Irene didn't tell you the reason yet, so please don't overthink about it, didn't you tell me that she loved helping and taking care of you?

Me: y-yeah, and i miss her.

Baekhyun: don't worry, she will leave a message to you when she's ready again.

my brother smiled at me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder, i feel safe with my brother

-

8:00pm.

i'm in bed now, and i just changed my clothes, i'm more of a comfy type of mood now, so i chose sweatpants and an oversized shirt, i love baggy clothes.

my phone is still on my hand, and trying to message Irene non-stop, and she just keeps leaving me on delivered, but the worst thing is, she's currently active in my chat bar, that's off.

i think it has something to go on with Jin, she was acting so weird, and uncomfortable when they were facing each other, and talking to each other too, i feel like they've known each other but it doesn't looks like it, our meeting was awkward, and her excuse was kinda off.

i have to ask Jin about this, so i clicked his profile in our messages and texted him.

me: hi, did something happened between you and Irene?

i didn't hesitate and sent him that message, but i'm starting to not feel good now, i know there's something wrong in here, and my brain is telling me to know now.

Jin: irene? what's with her?

oh shit, he responded so quickly.

me: uhm, do you guys know each other? and do you have any idea why she was acting like that?

Jin: i'll explain it to you everything, come down.

me: w-what do you mean by come down?

Jin: i'm here outside your house, come down and let's talk through all of this.

i ran to my balcony door and twisted it open, then i used my strength to push the see through door on the side, i rushed to the balcony and checked if he was there.

and he was standing infront of my house, while holding his phone.

-

"so, can you please explain everything to me?" i stepped through our conversation first, he took a deep sigh and placed a hand on mine, and i waited for his answer.

we're at the bench, on the other side of my house, and it's kinda peaceful out here, the wind waschill, and i could feel his warm temperature against mine.

"promise me, that you won't be upset after you've heard all of this" Jin added, i nodded my head, and gave him time to explain himself.

"so, uhm, Irene, was my ex girlfriend, and she was my girlfriend for almost 2 years, but the reason for our breakup was, she cheated on me, with her boy bestfriend, she said it was just an accident, and she didn't mean it, but i'm not dumb, i saw her hands, and his on hers, it was something else."

"she said sorry to me multiple times, and wanted to us to be a happy couple again, and act like nothing happened, but whenever i lay my eyes on her, i could still feel the pain she gave me, i loved her, but why did she had to do that to me" he added again.

"i-i'm so sorry to hear that, i-i didn't know she was your ex-" he cuts me off.

"no, u don't have to, you didn't know anything at all, and besides, it's all in the past now" he smiles at me, and reassuring that he was okay.

"ok, but now i know why she stopped talking to me, and she also stopped attending classes with me, she left me like she was a bubble, and it's just making me so sad, she was always there for me, and 'm not used of her not being with me, she was a great help for my mental health after all" i replied back.

"i'm sorry Y/n, if i broke your friendship with her, we didn't know anything" Jin places a hand on her bare hands, and she held it tightly too.

"it's okay, my brother said she might be feeling some type of problem in her life, and also said that i should give her some time, after all, we had memories together" i said, in a sad tone.

"hey, it's gonna be fine" he planted a kiss on my forehead.

"i love it when i'm with you, i could feel peace all over me, and you helped me so much, i love you" i said, and smiled at him.

"you helped me a lot, too, shown me the right paths, and taught me that i could still love after the trauma i felt" Jin replied back.

and now, we're staring at the beautiful night sky above us, it's a whole vibe, and it's so fun to be with Jin, i think he's gonna be my perfect soulmate.