She sat on the train, thankful for the peace and quiet at last. The morning she had experienced had been one of the most hectic in her life, what with waking up hald an hour before her train was due to leave, when she lived half and hour from the train station. She had literally watched in horror as the train she was meant to be on pulled away from the train station. If she had been a minute earlier...
But she had bought a new train ticket - it set her back £50, but it didn't matter - and was now seated on the train. She was willing to pay anything to get back to her parent's house, just for two days. She needed to get away from university; her flatmates were being utter bitches, she was sick of living with two flatmates and one of their boyfriends, and her love-life was... non-existant, yet completely baffling.
It was a shame, really, that she had so many guy friends. Especially when it came to Jamie. He was gorgeous, quite hipster, but with perfect teeth and amazing hair. He was from Carlisle, which she wasn't thrilled aboiut - she hated Carlisle. But she could overlook his place of birth.
She thought he only thought of her as a friend. He called her 'buddy', for crying out loud! What more evidence did she need? After a year of knowing him, she had finally accepted they would never be together, and she had endevoured to move on.
To Kevin. Another friend of hers, of course. He hated life - he was such a grumpy bastard. But when he drank rum - which he did, often and in large quantities - he became this hilarious, flirty, joyful person. And sometimes, just sometimes, he would be this person when he was sober, too. If she was to be totally honest with herself, she had had a bit of a crush on him since she met him, just under a year ago. She had quickly developed feelings for this 20 year old with a sparkle in his eye.
Then, Jamie kissed her. Jamie kissed her a lot. In the club. In the taxi home. In the doorway to her flat. In her bed. He kissed her a lot in her bed.
But that wasn't the main set-back for her. She could've moved on again if he had just left the next morning and told his friends the classic excuse of "oh, I was drunk".
But he didn't. Of course he didn't. Instead, he told his friends he was pleased with himself. Exstatic that he had managed to hook up withe her.
Then didn't speak to her for two weeks.
Sure, he prelied to her when she struck up a conversation with him on Facebook chat, three weeks later (because she didn't have the courage to speak to him in person), but that was it.
All the while, she was having the piss taken out of her for sleeping with yet another of her friends - after Jamie, she had, in total, slept with three of her guy friends. Nevermind the fact that these three boys were the only boys she had slept with - that didn't seem to matter. She felt like a massive slut. Her friends had even joked that she was a slut. The fact that they were joking didn't register in her brain. They said it, and she ignored their sarcastic tones of voices and the laughter afterwards. They confirmed in her brain what she thought to be true. And Jamie wasn't there to defend her. And Kevin had just sat in silence, just looking at her.
Judging her.
And so she needed to get away. Just for a couple of days, and get a hug from her mother. Because she felt like she was suffocating. She couldn't talk to anyone, because they didn't understand, or they would judge her, just like Kevin did. Buut her mum had to be there and comfort her and tell her that everything would be okay, even if she didn't know the full story. That was her job. She was her mummy.
Because it would. It would be okay. She knew that everything would sort itself out in the end. She believed that things happen for a reason and there must be some purpose for her feeling like a leper. and so she would get a hug from her mum, experience the joys of a homemade meal, see the annual ballet show that was her primary excuse for going home, and then, on Saturday night, she would return to university and try to tackle her social relationships in a more positive way.
God only knew how...
