3 / Reassurance - Gohan x Goku

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A bit shorter than normal but I still like it

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Gohan's POV

I ran my fingers through my greasy hair, trying not to get upset. Buu was just defeated and we were back at Mt. Pazou. I sighed and laid down in the grass, looking at the stars. It didn't seem fair. His father was back but he had yet to confront him about Cell. He was getting acquainted with Goten so I was struggling to not feel jealous. It was hard to see your dead father alive and well again after seven years, especially when you know his death was your fault.

I tilted my head towards the house as a squeal was heard before giggling followed. I couldn't help but smile slightly at Goten. He was the most innocent boy in the world. I turn my gaze back towards the stars. I wish I still had that innocent bliss.

Hearing a creak, I look towards the house to see my mom standing there. "Gohan sweety, are you ok?" I give her a faint smile. "Yeah I'm ok mom, I just wanted to clear my head." I expect her to go back inside, but instead she closes the door softly and crosses the yard. My eyes open in surprise as she sits down in the grass beside me.

"It's hard isn't it?" I turn towards her with an eyebrow raised. My mom sighs and leans back on her hands. "Ever since he died, there was a hole in our house that couldn't be filled. I realized so many things I took for granted." She grabs some nearby flowers and begins braiding them.

"I wasn't a very good wife Gohan. I- I pushed you and your father away from a lot of things that you both enjoyed, while pushing you into things you didn't. I don't remember a time that I didn't yell at your father. I thought it was something that would always be there. Your careless, naive father against my wits. Once he died it was harder to come to terms that I actually wasn't a very good wife. Sure, I wanted the best for you guys. I absolutely did. I just never realized how much damage I was creating."

I open my mouth to deny her claims but her glare cuts me off. "I don't want to hear it. You can deny it all you want but what I said was true." I gaze back at the stars, lost in thought. I always thought she was the best mom in the world. I didn't feel pressured all the time, I know she wanted what was best for me. I look back to her to see a soft smile on her face. For the first time in seven years, she looked at peace.

"Point is, it's hard to be around your dad if you keep dwelling on your mistakes. How about we try to push our mistakes behind us and start over?" I stare at her for a moment before nodding. "Ok mom." She playfully slaps my arm with a teasing grin. "Besides, since Buu is gone maybe we can learn what peace means as a whole family again." I nod at her and give a more genuine smile. "Ok mom, that sounds good to me." Chichi smiles and nods. "That's the Gohan I know." She stands up, giving me a quick kiss on the top of my head. "I'll see you inside sweety."

I nod at her and watch as her strong figure heads back inside. With a small sigh, I turned towards the forest. She doesn't get it. She wasn't the one that killed the most important person in their life. Standing up, I spared the house one more glance before facing the forest and running off into the trees.

As I ran, tears began to bristle in my eyes. The tears that I dared not to shed while dad was gone for mom's sake. I run farther, hiccuping as the tears flow freely. As I reach a lake, I grunt in frustration before collapsing on the side of the shore. I punch my legs that I curled up close to me.

"Stupid stupid stupid." I murmur quietly, bruises beginning to form after five minutes. I continue before stopping and letting out a wail, brining my legs up close to my chest. He doesn't love me. It's all my fault. If Goten weren't here, he would have already gotten mad at me.

"Stupid stupid stupid." I murmur again, my eyes clenched shut. My body was in a fetal position as quiet sobs wracked through my broken figure. "It's all my fault." I repeat the phrase over and over again, an addictive repetitive action.

I feel soft but firm hands slowly wrap around me, prying my knees away from my chest and into their lap. Not caring who it was, I clutch to their gi and continue to sob. "All my fault, it's all my fault." The man wraps his strong arms around me, his body generating heat. "What's all your fault Gohan?"

I clench my eyes shut tighter, my body shivering once more. "All my fault that daddy died." The man seems to squeeze tighter. "It's not your fault Gohan, it was daddy's fault for putting you in the ring against Cell." I shake my head into the man's shirt. "It's my fault. My daddy's a hero. I killed the most important person to me. All my fault, it's all my fault."

I looked like a child but I didn't care. Hell, I never had a chance to be a small child in the first place. "I want my daddy back." I cry out, a fresh wave of tears rolling down my cheeks. The man slowly moves me away. He doesn't want me near him because I'm a murderer.

"Gohan. I'm right here. Daddy is back son. I don't plan on leaving soon." I hiccup, looking at him. "It's all my fault daddy. Why aren't you mad? You should be punishing me, yelling at me, threatening to send me to hell." Daddy sucks in a breath of hurt and makes eye contact with me. "Gohan, I would never wish those things upon you." He says, his voice low and soothing.

I can't help the tremor that pases through my body. "You should. That's how you punish murderers." Goku grabs my face, locking eyes with me. "Gohan." His voice was stern. "You are NOT a murderer. I put you in the ring when you weren't ready. I stole your childhood along with other things."

Goku then stops, thinking. "You didn't grieve while I was gone, did you?" His tone was matter-of-fact. I slowly shake my head no. "A couple times, but I was strong for mommy." Goku 'tsks' and shakes his head. "Gohan, you need to grieve. This is too much for even a super saiyan to pent up."

My swollen eyes look at daddy, and relax when I see no harmful intentions. "So, you're not mad at me..?" My dad seems to smile softly before shaking his head. "No Gohan, I love you so much. I could never be mad at you. I'm here to stay and help pick up the pieces." A strangled sob escapes my throat as I launch myself at him, clinging to him as my lifeline. "That's all I wanted daddy! I missed you so much."

As my dad whispers soothing words in my ear and rubs my back, I soon begin to fall asleep, my world turning dark peacefully for the first time in a long time.

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