Girl Gone Rogue (The Shadow Hunters #2)

16. The Truth

"If we take the truck, that would be about thirty minutes travel time. Walking will require a little over six hours." Alexei pointed out.

"But in our wolf forms, we could make it in a shorter length of time compared to using the truck or simply walking." Aella suggested.

Jamison agreed, studying the map. "You're right. We need to count on it not moving until we get there."

"Then we'll use of wolf forms." Aella declared, "It's the best option."

As Jamison and Aella fed ideas back and forth, I shifted awkwardly on my seat, drowning out their words.

I had known using our wolves had been a possibility but foolishly, I thought I would be able to avoid it.

I had been wrong.

"Is there any chance we can go separately? You and Jamison can go first. You will be just as good as the tracking device we have on the changeling. We'll come behind in the truck." Alexei offered.

"The terrain is too difficult to manoeuvre the truck in. It's too bumpy and there are no roads along the way." Aella countered with reason.

I cleared my throat, gaining her attention. I appreciated Alexei wanting to make the mission easier on me, but it was unnecessary.

I couldn't hide my weakness any longer. I didn't know how long I had planned to hide my inability to shift with control but at this stage, I couldn't hide it for much longer. This was a serious mission. My inability to shift could potentially be the reason we fail.

"I can't change into my wolf on command." I admitted.

Aella's eyes widened; her blue-green hues bright with confusion. "W-what?"

"I don't have a good control over her. She only comes out when she wants. Alexei has been helping me but there's almost like a block or barrier keeping me from changing into my wolf. Ever since I came to this Pack at the beginning of my training, I had only morphed three times in total. Once as a trainee and twice after with months in-between each shift except the last. I had only been partially in control for the first shift. The others, I barely have a recollection of what happened when I did."

I felt Alexei's shock from across the table. He hadn't known the severity of it until now.

The last time I had shifted had been on the night of the Full Moon. Before that, I had shifted when we had come to the mountains the first time. Before that, it had been during my training period when we had been doing the scouting activity to trek scents. That day had been pure torture for both human and animal. It had taken all my concentration to control my wolf, I barely paid attention to the activity at hand.

"Does Jude know?" Aella asked, rounding the table to approach me. The genuine concern in her voice made guilt twist low in my belly.

"No one knows aside from Alexei and Jamison." I replied.

"I only suspected." Jamison added.

Yet, he hadn't told anyone.

I wanted to kiss his grouchy face, but the thought was less appealing with Alexei sitting too close to me. I could barely remember anyone else in the room.

"Ok, we'll follow Alexei's plan." Aella stated.

"No, that's stupid. Go with the original plan. I'll just stay here. It'll only slow the process. I don't want to get in the way. I'll remain behind and keep fort." Even in my own ears, I sounded pathetic. I was only going to hinder them if I tagged along. I was a big girl. I could stay back in the cabin and wait.

"Pen." Aella frowned, "We can still go together."

"Don't. You know I'm making sense. You all go. I'm fine here. Please."

"Ok." Alexei responded. "We'll go."

I pasted a big smile on my face, ignoring the sting in my chest. I knew I couldn't go but I was grateful that they were willing to drag me along, even if it was simply to appease my feelings. "Thank you."

The trio prepared their last-minute arrangements as I watched them check their things. I had handed my phone to Jamison who slid it into a little bag that carried medical supplies.

When they were ready, they gathered at the door. I joined them, wishing them well.

Jamison and Aella darted off first, shifting into their wolves in a blur of colours. They swiped up their identical little black bags between their teeth, waiting at the crest of trees for Alexei.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked him as he lingered at the doorway.

His gaze darted along my expression. "Don't cause too much trouble while we're gone."

"You expect too many things from me Alexei." I teased.

His eyes softened, "Keep safe. We'll be back soon."

"Don't worry about me, I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"I know. I just want to say the words in case you didn't know how much I treasure your safety Penelope."

"You're starting to sound as if you work for Hallmark now."

Alexei laughed, "Go back inside."

"Make sure to kick some ass while you're out there." I hollered as Alexei leaped off the stairs, seamlessly shifting mid-air.

He was a complete show-off as he released a wolf call that made the trees quiver nearby.