Never Land the First Fish

Chapter Thirty, Part 2

"I wish to give you a lifetime interest in the Brickdale estate."

Julia came near to choking on her wine.

"It is not large, I know, but it has an income sufficient to your needs."

"Your grace, I—" Julia had no idea what to say. "I am overwhelmed."

"Good," Sally said smugly. "It is about time someone overwhelmed you with kindness. We will hear no argument, Lady Julia, so you may stop any disagreement before it starts. Brickdale has been standing empty for six years or more, since Uncle Wellbridge had it rebuilt, and we have no use for it."

"What weather might we expect tomorrow? For our journey?" Aunt Bella asked no one in particular.

"Aunt Bella, you cannot simply change the subject," Julia began. "Your Graces, you do me great honour with your many, many kindnesses. My trust and now a house, your barristers and investigators, most of all, your belief in my innocence. I am quite overwhelmed by the enormity of it, after the great harms I have caused you down through the years, very nearly since the day you were born." She nodded to acknowledge Wellbridge, as Julia hadn't begun maligning Sally until she was fifteen, when Wellbridge was seen kissing the back of her neck behind a carriage.

"Eh, what harm was done, in the end?" Sally asked rhetorically. "For did I not end with the man I love and happier than I have a right to be?"

The very argument Athol had made dozens of times preceding a beating, including the last. "I do not wish you to downplay the very real—"

Wellbridge held up a ducal hand against her apology. "We will not hear it, Lady Julia. What I do wish to hear is whether or not you wish to entertain this miscreant's suit. For if not, I will be pleased to duel him to the death on your behalf."

Sally and Julia snorted in unison. Gills sat back, slightly wary. The Duke of Wellbridge was not known to joke about weaponry, which he had learned almost entirely from his formidable mother.

"What I intend to do with respect to Lord Joseph is entirely between the two of us, and there will be no need for dueling. I am an adult woman, capable of making my own decisions and living by them without a man's protection."

"Quite right," Sally said.

"And surely, it would be my father's right to kill Lord Joseph, not yours." She sent a sly smile toward Gills. "While I appreciate your concern, Your Graces, I shall find my way as time marches on, particularly on the topic of Lord Joseph Gildeforte."

"I am sitting right here, you know," Gills grumbled.

Julia grasped his hand and squeezed it. "I know, and so happy that makes me."

"On that note," Sally said, prodding Wellbridge in the side, "We shall say our goodbyes now as it is time for us to retire, and first light will come early."

Wellbridge added, "We will call at Brickdale one day soon. I will send word."

Once the Wellbridges had taken their leave, Julia stood as though to follow them, but Gills stopped her. "Julia, sit with me a while? We haven't a chess board, but there is a glass of wine yet to drink that we can share between us." He poured half of the rest of the wine into her glass and poured the last into his own.

Julia sat back down, certain she knew where this was going and certain she didn't want to follow. He would press his suit yet again, making the same arguments she had heard half a dozen times, beginning and ending with, "You are quite ruined, Julia, beyond reckoning. Should you wish to enter into Society again, you must..." She was sick to death of hearing about how ruined she was, especially from a man who said he valued her beyond price.

The room fell silent as they sipped their wine. The question was inherent in every conversation they had alone.

"Soon, Gills. I promise. I just need a bit more time."

"Julia, my dearest, my darling, we cannot delay indefinitely now that we have returned. We must, at least, announce a betrothal. You can throw me over later, if you must, but I cannot stay at Brickdale with you any longer without Coventon there, and I cannot bear to leave without knowing if I will attain my heart's desire."

"I do not know, Gills! I just do not know! I just need more time..." Her voice trailed off. Even she heard the pretence inherent in her words. She knew it was futile when she asked, "Can we not leave things as they are?"

"We cannot."

"Do not push me, Joseph Gildeforte. You said you wouldn't." She felt herself perilously close to tears, for she was certain he was only moments from leaving her for good. He was getting tired of her; she could feel it.

He stroked a fingertip across the back of her hand. "I did say that. And I am sorry. But I think things have changed now that our legal troubles are behind us. The best way to redeem you is through marriage, and I wish nothing more than you to be accepted back into the society to which you are entitled."

"I know that, Gills. I know all of it. I just don't know my heart, and that's the truth of it."

"I see. I see." He was seething. She could feel it like a heat rising off him. He was going to explode with rage any instant and—

His mood shifted. She could see any trace of annoyance wiped off his face. "So, will you go to Brickdale, then?" He would ply her with friendship.

The emotion of continually having to refuse this man, when all she wanted was his kiss, was exhausting her in a way even the trial for her life hadn't been. "I think I will, for now. I haven't a better plan; perhaps I can formulate one once I am there."

"That seems an excellent idea."

"I shall consider your proposal as I develop a plan for my future."

"I should hope so. I shall endeavor to give you room to do so without undue influence, but I would not have you think I will stay away forever."

She tried, but couldn't keep herself from asking, "Where will you go?"

"After I deliver you safely back to Brickdale, I will go to London to begin my plans there. But in short order, I will spend a few weeks in the countryside, visiting land and manor houses I may wish to buy. Until I have a household, I have no place to offer a wife. And until I have a place for you, I have no business applying pressure upon you to wed."

"Oh, do not be silly. You will just come to—" She stopped short at his raised eyebrow. She had very nearly just accepted his proposal, or so he would make it seem, when all she wished was to make sure he had a roof over his head. Without benefit of matrimony, she could not offer him houseroom any place she lived alone.

He just said, "Quite." He stood and held out his hand to help her up. She took it, leaning away from any attempted kiss. If he kissed her, she would refuse him nothing. She would be lost.

But both of his hands rested on her shoulders, and when she shrank from him, he brushed the hair off her face and kissed her forehead. Looking down into her eyes, he said, "I love you, Julia, more than I know how to say, but this is torture. I will give you time one last time, but I am finished being told 'tomorrow.' When I have concluded my business, I will return to Brickdale to speak to you."