Death is My Frenemy Rewritten (Book 3 of the Rewritten Death Chronicles)

Chapter 12: The Seventh Strike

"For the thousandth time," grumbled the giant monster-looking creature across from our cell, startling me. "He did not laugh. He cleared his damn throat."

"He did so laugh, Stocky!" Romeo cried. "You weren't even there!"

"Keep it down about the prince," muttered Wolf. "You already got five strikes on a joke."

"Six," Romeo muttered sadly, before turning to me. "Oy, you look depressed and in need of a chuckle, blue eyes. Care to hear a joke from the prince's fifteenth favorite Jester? I could use an ear for practice tonight."

The prince. My thoughts moved to Death's past self while I was subconscious in that dream state. The version of him that wore a crown of bones and a royal cape. "Excuse me," I said, tapping Romeo's shoulder, as he appeared to be throwing out jokes to "Stocky" now across the way. "Where the hell am I?"

"Apologies for eavesdropping, Miss, but I believe the answer is in your question," said Wolf. My head turned to the side, finding Wolf was now standing with his arms draped through the cell bars. "His Highness' torture chambers echo wonderfully, do they not? Better keep your voice down if you want to keep secrets. But between you and me, though, I'm the only one you can trust down here."

"Do not speak to it," Romeo suddenly warned me, "less' you want every word to get back to His Lord's ears."

"I am not an 'it,' you drunken fool," Wolf snarked. "Perhaps you should work on your jokes, before your execution."
"Execution?" I repeated with dread.

"Today marks my seventh strike," Romeo said sadly. "I have failed His Highness too many jokes."

"You are unaware of His Highness' games?" Wolf asked, analyzing me. "Are you not from the court?"

"Oh, drop your trick already, Helvius," Romeo sneered. "I know you're not really Wolf. Lucky bastard went from thief to a knight overnight by the prince two nights ago." Romeo tapped his head. "I might be sloshed, but I listen to my best chum."

"Guess you aren't as belligerent as I thought." Suddenly Wolf washed away like an illusion, and my eyes widened as I recognized the man as Helvius. Helvius had been the slave Alexandru had used to take Cruentas before the gladiating games. "Now Romeo, you know better than to hide a woman down here. It is against my Lord's rules." Helvius' head turned toward me and I noticed the shadow that danced over his eyes. "You shouldn't be down here, dear. But you already know that don't you?"

I glanced at Romeo, who shook his head at me once.

"I demand to be in a room with the prince," I answered. "It's urgent."

Helvius laughed. "The Prince of Darkness makes little time for the likes of you. And better that way. Trust me."

"He doesn't lie there," Romeo muttered.

But the urgency I felt to get this show on the road drove me to take this a step further and cause a little ruckus. "If Alexandru can make time to clip his kitty nails, he can make time for me."

Romeo's mouth popped open. "Did you just say what I think you––?"

"No one is to refer to the prince in such a manner," Helvius said, and I realized I'd made a greater mistake than I intended, before turning his dark gaze onto Romeo. "What a mouthy mortal. She's a deep sinner, this one, and His Highness will be most disappointed in you hiding her from his court, Jester."

"Wait a minute," I chimed in. "Why should he be punished for something I said?"
Helvius gave a shrug. "The night's been a bit dull thus far. One could use a little drama."

"Helvius, please," Romeo pleaded. "This maiden is clearly fevered and unwell to be talking about our delightfully horrible prince in such a manner, I––"

Helvius vanished.

"Evil little elf!" Ripping his jester hat off and tossing it into the wall, Romeo starred long and hard at me with his hands on his hips. "And you! You evil vixen! You have dragged me down to a fiery, darling."

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?"

"Oh, I think you knew exactly what would happen if you know the Prince of Darkness well enough to declare his true name. To his eyes and ears demon slave! And let's not forget the kitty nails comment!"

"Was I wrong?"

Romeo laughed humorlessly. "You voluptuous Devil's spawn. Here to ruin me for all of my sins, I see. I don't even have a joke prepared for when he summons us. My one job."

"Shame the prince isn't here to see your ridiculous fit," bellowed the creature across from our cell. "He just might clear his throat again."

Romeo pulled his hat over his face and muffled a scream.

"Now that was just mean," I said to the creature, who was laughing so hard he was shaking the ground a little. "Listen, Romeo–"

"Why do you keep calling me that?" he demanded, ripping his hat off. His eyes flashed with something ravenous, as rosy, pink color danced over his iris. "Are you honestly mocking me now? After what you just did to us both?"

"No," I stuttered out. "I was just––"

"My name is not Romeo," Romeo interjected. "It's Petruchio."

A frown knit my brows. "Isn't that just another Shakespeare character?"

"Yes, and? My mum adored Shakespeare, not that it's any of your business." He gave me a cross look, before hanging his arms through the cell bars and turning his face away from me. "Lovely as your company has been, I think it best to not talk to the jester anymore. Seems you are a cursed joke upon my cell."

I hung my arms through the cell beside Romeo, deep in thought.

My head lifted with a sudden idea. "Or maybe I've brought the joke that will save us both," I said with a little smirk, making Romeo's brow arch with vague interest. 

***

DON'T WORRY, DEATH WILL BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! ;)

Chapters will be a little shorter as I'm trying to update quicker and it keeps me motivated to read your feedback! 

Please make sure to vote and leave lots of comments to show your support!! :)

xoxo

Romeo

Instagram/Twitter/Tiktok: Katrocks247

Also make sure to join the Death Facebook group on my profile!!!! :)