Trying to behave

Chapter 21 final (2)

17 hours earlier

January 2016

Monday, the 11th, 7:05am

New York, USA

Yoongi drums his fingers on his laptop absent-mindedly, brain fuzzy with sleep that just won't come properly and eyes drooping with the stress of the past few days. His body feels strung out and he's just so tired; scrapes a fingernail down his mousepad and sighs.

'Twenty,' Hoseok's voice mutters from the speakers. Yoongi flicks his eyes up lazily to stare at the younger boy's grainy Skype image in question before his eyes half close again. Without his consent and all. 'Your sigh count, I mean,'

'My what?' His voice comes out as a choked, strained mumble and he would clear his throat if he had the energy. Doesn't bother looking up this time.

'Sigh count,' Hoseok snorts and Yoongi forces himself to tiredly look up at that, cracking a smile more out of courtesy than anything. 'You've sighed like twenty times so far,'

'And you have no life so you're keeping count,'

'You know it,'

Yoongi really does grin this time, genuine and it feels a little foreign on his face, like he's not used to smiling anymore but he is, so he just pins it on the stress weighing down on his subconscious. Hoseok looks cute, the lighting in his room dim and his dark hair tousled on his forehead. He's smiling too.

For the fraction of a second, everything's okay.

And then Jungkook stirs on the bed next to Yoongi and suddenly it's not. Suddenly he's reminded.

He drops his gaze and coughs, but it just sounds like a pained squeak.

'Can't sleep?' Hoseok asks softly, as if picking up on his distress and the older boy shrugs, leaning back against the headboard and sighing heavily. 'That's twent-,'

'Shush,' Yoongi brings up a shaky hand to massage at his temples, one and then the other but it does little to subdue the headache building up behind his eyelids. He needs to sleep. Or if not that, he needs a distraction.

Why does everything have to suck this hard?

Why can't he speak? The silence mildly makes his anxiety worse.

'How are you?' is what he manages to croak out after an agonising twenty seconds of quiet when he can't take it anymore, broken only by Hoseok ripping open a bag of crisps who pauses mid-chew to look at him in surprise. Yoongi almost kicks himself. 'How is everything?'

Shut up, shut up.

'Oh,' the younger boy swallows, an eyebrow raised before he cracks an amused smile. 'You know,'

'I do,' he doesn't. 'Yeah,'

'Trying to save your ass from the company and stuff,' Hoseok adds with a shrug, popping another crisp into his mouth and Yoongi's grateful he's picked up on his need to not sit there in silence. 'Namjoon's been in and out of there left and right?'

'And it's working?' Jungkook stirs again and Yoongi instinctively reaches out to put a soothing hand on his arm, what he hopes is soothing and tries not to look at him; doesn't realise he's even said anything until Hoseok hums in response.

'They're not too pissed. Just disappointed,'

'Isn't that...worse?' Yoongi cringes, withdrawing his hand before he can stop petting the boy or something stupider.

The younger boy laughs and doesn't say anything else in favour of shoving more crisps into his mouth. A clear indication that yes, that's definitely a little worse.