My Hired Boyfriend (Completed)

36. Frying an Egg

            I want to tell him to watch out, to look behind him but Coda only stares at me, a look of relief on his face.

            “We’re okay, I love you—“ he says, reaching for me.

            He is an arm’s length away and just as I reach out there is a gun shot.

            I scream and Coda jerks.

            Two more gunshots ring out and Coda’s body is jerked about like a puppet on strings.

            Coda drops and I stare at his body in horror, my body shaking and wracking with my screams.

            I reach for his body and there is another gun shot.

            Pain rips through my ribs, rippling across my chest as I scream one final time.

 

            My body hits the ground so hard my scream is cut off momentarily.

            My ears are ringing and I am ensnared, the darkness all consuming.

            No, not Coda. Please no.

            I am thrashing, trying to get hands off of me and all I can think is that Coda is dead.

            “Hazel, wake up!” I hear someone yell, water hitting my face without warning. I choke, spluttering out water.

            My heart is still beating fast as the lights turn on and flood the room.

            I stare wide-eyed at Addy whose hands are on my shoulder in an attempt to hold me down.

            My ribs are aching again.

            Addy is crying again and when I finally catch my breath, I look up to see Jeremy half perched on my dresser beside me, his shoulders slumped with his face buried in his hands.

            I can’t speak, the panic feeling all so real.

            I can’t breathe.

            Coda. Coda. Coda.

            I begin to trash again and Addy is holding my face, telling me something that I can’t hear past the pressure in my ears.

            Gwen is next to Addy, pulling the sheets I had tangled myself into off of me and without the feeling off being trapped anymore, I try to gulp a breath of air.

            I feel light-headed and I almost wish I could pass out from this panic attack.

            Every night the same dream happened and every night ended like this.

            My eyes dart from Gwen to Jeremy. Both of them have gotten slightly accustomed to me panic episodes, Addy however looks terrified. She has seen me have panic attacks but not ones as bad as this.

            “Hazel, are you okay?” Addy asks again, biting her lip to hold back tears.

            I try to take a deep breath but it lodges in my throat and I try to move the hair out of my face, the strands sticking to me face either from my sweat or the glass of water Addy had thrown in my face.

            I can’t talk.

            The pressure in my chest is still there and I can’t get rid of the image of Coda’s body jerking in the air out of my head.

            “I’m fine,” I say, breathlessly, not sure who I am trying to convince.

            “Hazel, baby, you have to see someone about this. This is happening every night now,” Gwen begins to tell me, her own voice weary. Addy’s eyes widen as she realizes just how bad off I am.

            I stand shakily, trying to push their hands off of me.

            I feel like puking.

            “I’m fine. I- I just—“ I try to form my thoughts. “I just need to be alone right now.”

            “Hazel,” Gwen tries to protest. I ignore her, avoiding her when she tries to grab my hand.

            When I pass by Jeremy, his hand reaches out to gently grasp my forearm and I roughly pull it out of his grasp, not wanting to look at him.

            He looks just as pitiful as me with red rimmed eyes, dark circles and a look of hurt in his eyes.

            “Hazel, babygirl, please don’t shut yourself away like this. Please,” he pleads with me. His voice is so broken, so hurt and I can’t take it anymore.

            Ripping my arm from his grasp, I flee to the bathroom and shut it behind me, locking it.

            Pressing my back against the door, I sink to the floor, trying to get my breathing to slow and normal.

            I close my eyes, pressing my hands to my ears.

            I’m right here Il Mio Cuore, I’m right here.

            I can almost hear Coda again, his soothing voice half laden with sleep and the other with concern.

            Tears fill my eyes again and I try to keep breathing properly, my ribs hurting so much.

            Every movie and book I had ever watched or read ended with a happy ending, a promise that no matter what, love would prevail but as I sit on the cold floor, shaking and trying to calm my own panic attack, I finally begin to listen to the truth that’s been told to me over and over again.

            Life isn’t fair and there isn’t always a happy ending.

            “Hazel, sweetheart, please come out,” Jeremy pleads from outside.

            I ignore him, trying not to contain my sobs.

            “I did what was best for you. I would have rather have you hate me then end up hurt or dead—“ his voice cracks and I feel the door shift slightly as he leans against the door too, slowly sinking to the floor.

            I ignore him.

            Just bring Coda back.

            I hear him sigh heavily in defeat, his head thumping back against the door as I pull my knees up to my chest.

           ~*~

A/N- It's sad, I know, BEAR WITH ME PLESAE. I have to be realistic. Many of you were upset that  Hazel let Coda go so easily. but they are dealing with a vicious gang of people who murder and steal (granted I am not portraying the gang as bad as I imagine them to be because I honestly don't think I can bring myself to write a string of curse words and horrifying scenes all in the name of making a gang seem believable) but my point is that Hazel is scared and there is this tension between her realization that they are dangerous and her love for Coda. I am trying to give her time to figure out which one is more important to her.

Secondly, A lot of you seem to hate Jeremy and though I understand why you are upset (hello! bring back Coda already!) keep in mind that Jeremy is fiercely protective of Hazel. She is his baby sister and I feel like throughout the story, I have actually done a semi-good job of developing the strong relationship between Jeremy and Hazel. Also, yay for some more Addy and Hazel time!

Thank you guys for your patience, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was jam packed with emotion. As a side note, I am missing the humor that this story started out with but tbh, my forte is writing dramatic and emotional scenes. I love me a good drama lol ;)     

I will try to update soon. I promise! Please don't forget to comment and vote!

Love, Sabrina (the girl who is on her sixth cup of tea at 2 in the morning)