I Am Going to Tell You a Secret

1, 2, 3

How I had a threesome, and got banned from the neighborhood party house.

The first and so far only threesome I've ever participated in took place shortly after I'd turned eighteen. My girlfriends and I were newly-minted high school graduates, and we were spending the summer partying, getting high, and killing time until the fall term at our respective colleges got started.

Jane lived two houses away from a group of guys who all shared a house, and we'd been partying with them off and on since May. I'd slept with Tommy once or twice, and then fucked his roommate, Tyler, in a barn in the countryside on the night I'd graduated from high school. I was born and raised in a major Midwestern city, so surprisingly, fucking on a sleeping bag in a barn is something I've only done once in my life, and I'm really not that keen on doing it again.

A friend and I were recently talking about the most random places we've had sex in our respective lives, and while he'd mentioned fucking in Art Deco hotels on South Beach, I for some reason answered with an encounter in a Motel 6 bathroom while a girlfriend watched Harry Potter on the other side of the door. I'd clearly blocked out how I'd celebrated graduation, but bathroom sex is always random when it occurs.

Anyway, it was the middle of the week, and us girls found ourselves partying with the guys, much to the chagrin of Jane's older brothers. Looking back, we had no business being there- especially me, since I'd already fucked two of the housemates- but when you're young, tight, and horny, all bets are off. The guys knew it as well, and I think that's why they kept letting us come over.

We kicked off the evening by playing drinking games, sitting around the dining room table, wondering when the real fun would start. A pipe full of subpar weed had been making the rounds, so while we were tipsy on illicit beer, we were also blazed. It was that kind of pleasant buzz you get where the edges are softened, and you just feel good. Nothing hurts, and sound comes in clips and phrases. You might have a shit-eating grin on your face, but you're mostly harmless.

Come sit by me, and we'll nod along to the white noise that's playing on a loop in our heads.

Fast forward to a few hours later, and I found myself in the kitchen with my former paramour Tommy, and this dude named Isaiah, who happened to be his manager at a local eatery. To this day, I don't know what started any of it, but I found myself being kissed by Isaiah while looking at Tommy like he was the only guy in the room. He and I had nothing in common, but I was in lust with his lean body, and his pierced nipples. He once fucked me against the wall of his bathroom while the glow of a streetlight filtered in through the window's frosted glass. It was entirely forgettable, but the encounter provided me with masturbation fodder until we hooked up again, which was also pretty forgettable.

Somebody once pointed out to me during that particular time that I tended to "fuck white trash, and date total losers," and while I was offended by that statement, I now know that it was true. I did do that. Standards didn't seem to matter when it came to whom I was getting off with. Were these guys going to call me afterwards and ask to take me out on a date? Hell no, and it took me a long time to realize it. I've since reconsidered my value and worth, and I'm now married to a wonderful guy who loves me for who and what I am. It's cliched, I know, but it's true. He really fucking adores me. To paraphrase a couple of fairy tales, I had to fuck a lot of toads just to find my prince, and I still say it was worth it.

And though it's not a random place, my husband once ate me out while I was lying in bed watching Fantasia on DVD. I don't know why I feel the need to share that, but just know that it was hot, I came especially hard, and he still mentions it from time to time.

So! I'm in the kitchen being kissed and fondled by Isaiah when Tommy finally joins in. While our friends watch, I soon find myself being passed back and forth between the two guys. I lean forward to kiss one guy, and then lean back to kiss the other. I have hands stroking my tits, hands squeezing my ass, and two different sets of lips dappling kisses along my neck and shoulders before plundering the depths of my mouth with their tongues. It's hot in the room, and I'm aware that Tommy has lifted up my shirt to reveal my hard nipples poking through my sheer black bra.