Guilt TO Love

Freedom - 2 [18 +]

"Yes, but I was always gay. I never found girls attractive and sexually arousing" Plan replied gulping the alcohol and then playing with the bottle to avoid short talks.

"Oh, But is your left cheek ok? It is unnecessarily red." Plan immediately hid his face with the hoodie cap properly feeling tensed at once but as always Josh came as his savior and sat talking to each other about random friendly things until Harry didn't ask an inconsequential question at the absolutely wrong time.

"Hi, since you are gay.  Nothing to offend you but I really want to ask why you homosexual people have to create such chaos on the streets in the name of some pride moment which actually doesn't make any sense. Have you ever seen straight people doing all these things? What's the use of this unnecessary hype of coming out of the closet?" Harry asked casually gulping the alcohol and that was the moment Plan had enough.

"Harry?" Josh warned tossing the glass of wine on the table with a turbulent thud.

"Hype?" Plan got up from his seat throwing his bottle of beer on the ground shattering it into pieces "Have you ever felt the need to tell your parents 'Hi mom and dad I am straight and I like girls' You don't because this is considered real and productive for this society but for homosexuals people to tell their parents 'dad and mom I don't find opposite gender attractive' it sometimes takes fucking whole life because this is abnormal and unproductive for this society. We are considered a sin and a threat to society, this is what they say. We are compelled to question our true identity for our whole fucking life. We are forced to live in shadows. We are considered diseased that needed to be cured. Do you know how our so-called gay virus is cured? By corrective rapes and shock therapies. Do you know how much difficult it is to just accept ourselves? Do you know how much ashamed isolated and afraid one is when they go through coming out stage in life? Have you ever faced identity crises"

"Plan enough. I am apologizing in place of my friend." Plan had much more to spill out. It was like a golden opportunity for Plan to take out all the anger, hatred, and pain he has suppressed inside for years but before he can continue Josh hugged him tightly whispering apologies in his ear, and even after Plan wiggled to separate himself from Josh he didn't let him go and Plan just melted there in his arms.

"Can you take me somewhere, please" Plan murmured.

"Ofcourse anywhere you want." Josh held Plan's hand left the bar before glaring at Harry with anger.

"Seriously Harry why did you do it?" Tan mocked his friend only to find his friend smiling as nothing happened.

"I was just asking. I am not homophobic or anything." Harry shrugged ordering another glass of wine for himself. 

"Yeah, I can see that," Tan murmured pissed off with his friend who was more like a neanderthal man still living in the stone age.

................................................................................................................................................................ 

After a short journey to the place where Plan one last time desired to go, they reached back to the apartment which he once used to think of as his home, his own nest. He escorts out of the car without caring about the rain which was at its peak. Rain was powerful enough to flood the entire place, but Plan felt blessed because it was the best place to hide his tears. Rain and tear are a perfect combination of fear and pain. Josh walked out driver's seat both standing in the rain just looking at each other without exchange of single word but only until Plan stepped ahead and pulled Josh in a kiss and wrapped his hand around his neck. It shocked Josh to the extend that he staggered back holding Plan's waist tightly attempting to stop himself and Plan to fall. It was not some erotic kiss just their lips remained sealed without any movement. Plan left Josh's lips but his eyes remain still tightly shut. Josh held his chin to make him look at his eyes but Plan didn't open his eyes even when Josh told him to. Josh bent coming to the level of Plan and kissed his right cheek and then his nose and finally on his forehead tasting the cold rainwater that has already drenched both.