The Great Indian College Romance

26. Clubs and Confessions

It was hard concentrating on anything other than the conversation Yug and I had had an hour ago. If Vahni had noticed how distracted I was she didn't comment. She was straightening her hair in the mirror as I slipped on my pumps. They were the same be ones I had worn when I had first dived headfirst into the world of Red Wagon. 

My thoughts raced back to the Fresher's party, the competition, Siddharth's apology, the after-party, the drunken kiss...

It seemed like a lifetime ago. I couldn't even imagine what college would have been like if I hadn't met these people. Certainly a lot less dramatic but a lot less fun. Did I regret anything that had happened so far? This whole thing that I had with Angad. I knew that I had made my decision but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of longing for what could have been. 

We had such an unorthodox beginning that everything had to go downhill after that. Even if we did not it's not like I would have jumped at the chance to move forward. Or would I have?

I shook my head and stood up. I was going to drive myself crazy with all the fucking 'What Ifs'. 

The conversation with Yug had only added to this swirling mess. Siddharth? 

I couldn't even picture it. 

"What if he does like you? What if he thinks of you in that way?" said a voice in my head and I started talking to Vahni to drown it out. 

"So Vahni which shoes should I wear with this dress? The red pumps or the strappy ones?" 

"The red pumps definitely."

I nodded I had picked the right ones. 

"I am gonna do it." 

Vahni said suddenly. 

"What?" I asked grabbing my phone from the side table. 

"Make a move with Angad." 

The phone almost slipped out of my hands at her words. 

"You are?" I asked in a high pitched voice and then cleared my throat and added, "That is great."

"Right? He was so nice to me earlier today. You were right Meera. He is very nice. I can't even remember why I was so afraid." 

I was inching closer and closer to the door hoping Vahni was not noticing my departure. The Angad issue was complicated enough for me as is. Adding this to the equation was not helpful. 

"You are so right. I am gonna go and check on Sarah." 

Before she could reply I was out of the door. This was not something I had accounted for. Goa trips were supposed to be relaxing and calming and fun. 

"Meera," a voice called out. 

I saw Siddharth coming out of his room. 

"You look beautiful," he said coming up to join me. 

See, these were the kind of comments I would have accepted without a second thought but after what Yug had told me it made me colour a light shade of pink.

"Thank you," I smiled trying my hardest to sound natural. 

I looked around willing anyone else to come out and lighten the tension I felt but no one emerged. 

"How are you enjoying Goa so far? It's your first time right? Living up to your expectations?" he asked conversationally. 

"It has been fun." I nodded. 

By this point, I was praying for someone, anyone, to join us. I am sure Siddharth had noticed the odd behaviour on my part. Then a door opened and the only person who could make this any more awkward came out.