Love is blind

Chapter 32

Chaeyoung POV

"How?" I asked because I need to know.

"Because most people will only see a person who has lost something or someone. They will only see your lose. No matter how much you want to move on, but just looking into their eyes or talking to them will bring you right back to where you started. Because there was more to you than the tough front that you were showing. Because even though there were time you want to give up, you just move on. Because I really saw you and you were like me." She started after took a shaky breath and her voice choked with tears.

"I didn't want to see it on your face. Or hear it in your voice. Not you." And that right there, broke my heart.

Every sob ripped me apart over and over again. There was nothing I could said can undo this other than apologising over and over. All I could do is to hold her and rock her gently while stroking her hair until she calmed. I knew exactly what she meant. Everything she said was simply me. Us. We were alike. Sana's pain was mine. Her struggle was my struggle. The only difference between us, she met her pain with kindness and tenderness. While me, I faced mine with anger and pushed everyone away. My head dropped in shame of my insecurities.

"That's why you never felt sorry for me." I thought.

I didn't notice when my thought left my mouth but the moment they slipped out, I regretted immediately.

"So, you weren't trying to fix me?" I said.

"You were never broken to be fixed, Chaeyoung." Sana hitched as she said.

"What did you said?" My head snapped up.

"You were never broken." She simply said.

Then, an aggressive surge ran from my brain through my spine then exploded in my chest. Something shattered in me. Everything that was Momo said turned into dust and washed away. Like discarded memory. Sana's words brought me to the point of clarify that I long forgotten. The only reason I tolerated Momo because she sort of connection to what I was. My attempt to hold on to something of the past. Allowing her to poison my thoughts along the way, not that I needed any extras to be added to original dark ones. Pathetically, I did quite a fine job all by my own. After Sana's words, nothing of the past mattered. What's important was right here with me. With her words, my body felt light and my thoughts are free. Sana could never imagine how her words just set me free. She's set me free. I smiled at her like I never did before.

"You sure are something." I said.

I wanted to do something more. I wanted to take a bigger step that would bring us closer. Hopefully she will agree. But first she should know. I cleared my throat.

"Since we are sharing, I think its only fair if I do the same." Automatically my hand made sure my shades were secured.

"Hmm, this is what happened. In the day of the accident-." She cuts me off.

"No, Chaeyoung! You don't have to tell me. I have never asked-." Its my turn to interrupt her words.

My arms tightened around her a little and I smiled to assuring her that it okay.

"And I appreciate that, but I want you to know." I said.

As I inhaled, I breathed her in. The sweet, fruity and her haunting perfume that she always wearing. This closeness was calming yet astonishing at the same time leaving me in one hectic sensational mess. Sana have never asked me what happened or in details how I became blind. Never the less I wanted she know. She should know. For the sake of whatever might coming in the future, I wanted to be an open book. For her. I wanted her to know me from the previous time in my life that got me to where I was. Clearing my throat, I started the trip to the past.

"A couple of years ago, I love to draw, dance and music. And god, that years supposedly be the most happy in my life as I have been chosen to continued my study at Royal college of Art. I got the scholarship. That was my dream and finally my dream became truth. At the same time, I and Yugyeom used to be dance partner and sometimes Momo would join us practice. I would do the composing music and Yugyeom would do the choreo. We are so happy that time. One day, Yugyeom asked me to joined one dance competition as he said for last and for our memories before I chase my dream and we work hard for that. I still remember how I love to dance and do the music same as I draw. Art is my life Sana. And our hard work was paid. We won, Sana. We won. I still could hear how everyone cheer our name." I said.

"That must have been amazing." Sana said and that smile I liked was clear in her voice mixed with excitement same as mine.

"It was. Newspaper wrote about it. Local news channels covered the whole competitions. The magazine didn't stop writing about our winning. It was wild. Different universities, managers, competitors, was cheered for us. We even got an offer of scholarship and absolutely mind blowing. Everything you could dream about was happening." I continued.

I started to get edgy as I reached the next part.

"That night, we supposed to celebrate our double celebration as I and Yugyeom wins in dance competitions too and Yugyeom hosted the winning party since his parents were out of the town and man, that guy three the coolest parties that made everyone to attend. After the competitions I had to go and buys some supplies for my art project and since Momo and I were a thing back then, I asked Momo to wait or followed me until I was done so we would go together. You know, girlfriends thing. We had this fight that she will miss the party and needed to go home and change and it will take a long time before I was done. So, we agreed to meet there later." I said.

"How do you guys meet?" She asked after she moved a little then settled.

I shrugged.

"We were partner in dance class and I guess I have a crush on her and she's the one make a move first. Then, boom. As she put in, we were perfect together and so did everyone else. We had endless numbers of fights. Things between us would be fine for a while but sometimes we were back to square one." I replied.

I never noticed how exhausting my relationship with Momo was. All signs pointed to what we had wasn't working.

"I reached Yugyeom's house a couple of hours late and looked for Momo as I never told her about the art school and decided to tell her that night. But surprised, I found her with Yugyeom in his parents bedroom, drunk and half naked, kissing. A second later I was punching my best friend and breaking up with my girlfriend." I said.

The feeling of disgust rose as I recalled their image in my mind. Momo in her underwear straddling shirtless Yugyeom, kissing him and moaning almost made me hurl. My stomach clenched.

"All I could remember after that was feeling angry and betrayal. I knew what Momo was, but I didn't expect it from Yugyeom. He was someone I consider as brother. I don't know how I reached my car or what happened. I just wanted to leave and erased the image from my brain. The crash part is a bit hazy in my mind." I continued.