Tom Holland Imagines

Catharsis

It's a fair question. What did you expect would happen? He'd win every fight? Escape the sport unscathed? Would not want to fight after one bad one? You know he doesn't work like that and yet, you had hope he would.

"I don't know." You shrug your shoulders. "Not this, I guess."

Silence consumes the room between the two of you. You've always been supportive which is what leaves Tom so confused. You've never said a word, you've just always been there. You come to every fight, cheer him on, you've learned how to wrap his hands for him. You've learned the rules and different techniques. You've even helped him train one day when Harrison was sick, not that Tom trained hard with you but some training is better than none. Tom never knew you thought he'd quit. And it just doesn't make any sense.

Tom opens his mouth but you start talking first. "I'm glad you're okay." You say as you suck in a breath, putting your hand on Tom's, Tom nodding in response. "But, I think I'm gonna go home, get some sleep and stuff."

You go to get up but Tom moves his hand onto yours, stopping you. "Stay." He says, his eyes begging but his voice still weak and a bit hoarse.

You chew your lip as you shake your head. "I, uh, I can't call off, ya know? So, I should really go home." You lie.

Tom lets go of your hand, defeat in his eyes knowing he can't ask you to skip work for him. "Right." He nods slowly. "Uh...was just wondering if you wanted to have a movie night or somethin' when I get outa here? Get take out, just us."

Maybe this is what is making it so hard to watch him fight and watch him lay in a hospital bed. It's like you two have been a little bit in limbo. It's like you both kind of know you have feelings for each other and you act like it, you basically go on dates just without specifically calling them dates, and neither of you really have said anything. You've been happy just doing what you guys are doing for right now but maybe that's the problem because you do like him, you more than just like him and being in limbo and watching all of this unfold is too much. It's too painful.

"Um...I think...." You let out a sigh. "I think I just need some space."

"Oh." Tom says, disappointment in his voice. "W-why?"

You gesture at him, feeling tears swell in the back of your eyes. "This." Your voice breaks a little.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tom's bows are furrowed and you can see the pain in his eyes.

Your mouth opens but you don't know how to just blurt it all out. "I just....I don't know if I can stand by and watch you get hurt all the time."

"This is the first time--"

"Not for me." You cut him off. "This isn't the first time I've watched you get hurt. A black eye after every fight, okay but now you're getting cut up and the bruises are worse than ever before. You've gotten kicked so hard you couldn't walk the next day. I've seen bruises form almost instantly and now you're in the hospital. I don't know how can I watch this happen again and I don't know if I can watch it all keep happening."

"You knew that when we started..." Tom trials off and it's like it all hits him at once.

What did you start? You started as friends but this isn't...whatever is happening between the two of you. The dates that aren't dates and the movie nights that always end in cuddling and the stolen glances while you're out with friends. The way you look at him and he looks at you. This isn't friends. And he knows you know that, too.

"Started?" You ask, the room suddenly seeming so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"I don't know." Tom shrugs.