My Last Dive [Made in Abyss Fanfiction]

36| Awaiting Dusk

As the saying went, things truly were easier said than done. I could say I agreed to something, but of course saying I would do something was different from actually doing it.

The trouble immediately started that very evening, with the threat of sleep looming over me. And it truly was a threat, the idea of it making my blood run cold. Aedia forbade me from working at Morgan's or in the pharmacy until I was properly back on my feet, so it wasn't like I had to sleep tonight, but I would have to eventually.

I staved off sleep until the hour grew late, and Aedia herself couldn't afford to stay up later herself since she had to work. But she wouldn't let me stay awake, especially when I was still capable of leaving the house.

"If you want, you can try sleeping pills or sedatives tonight," Aedia suggested. "I'd rather you not, but—"

"N-no, I won't," I said. "I already know well enough what those do to me." A bit of a relieved look came over Aedia before she frowned again.

"Whatever happened to that technique Llyr taught you?" she asked. "You were sleeping so well when you were using it before..."

Honestly, I couldn't tell her myself. It was like the new horrors I was faced with had simply overpowered any sense of tranquility I tried to conjure up, and it was just another layer of frustration to add on to what already existed. "It... just doesn't seem to work anymore," I said simply.

"Do you think you'd be willing to try it again now? Because you need sleep, Len," Aedia said. "What did you even think about when you were doing that back then? Were you thinking about Mom and Dad, or Llyr? Because maybe he could at least do something to help you if we ask him... I don't know, I'm just throwing any ideas out there."

"I... actually thought about you," I admitted sheepishly. "Like I've said before, you staying with me before helped me sleep, and even imagining you being with me was enough to help me sleep. You say you can't stand to lose me? Well, it's the same with me as well. I may have Llyr and the others to talk to, but you're my one reliability, if that makes sense. I can always count on you to be there for me, even though we're not kids anymore."

Aedia smiled softly. "Do you want me to stay with you while you fall asleep? Or do you want me to be with you when you wake up?"

I hesitated, hating the answer I wanted to give. "B-both, but you don't have to. I'm a grown adult, I shouldn't need help like this."

"But you obviously do," Aedia said, and shame washed over me as I nodded. She took my hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "You won't get better if you don't use what you know will help you. And though I can't stay with you forever, I'll stay with you for as long as it takes for you to get back on your feet."

"Again?" I said with a nervous chuckle, and Aedia's smile widened.

"Again," she echoed. "And tomorrow, you should try drawing what you've been seeing in your nightmares. Either that, or you can tell me what you saw. Repeat it all as many times as you need to. Even if you think Llyr and the others won't listen, I will. You've always listened to me, and I want to listen to you." She stood up and went into the kitchen. "I'll make you some tea to help with a bit of your nerves, then we'll both go to sleep."