Incalescent

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Chapter Two || Soul of Me.

I scoffed at her and turned my head sharply. "I'll get the courage to talk to him again some day! Maybe today, who knows. Today is our first student council meeting."

I had been waiting for this all week.

"Well, I don't care. I mean, it's not me but...I still don't understand what you see in that guy. He's so...dark."

I gasped. How could she say such hurtful things about my hero? And right to my face? Bad Parker wanted to slap her, but Good Parker, the Parker she had known the longest, just sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I alreadt told you it's because —" I began to explain until she cut me off.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. He's the one who saved your life."

"No, it's not just because of that!" I defended. I wasn't those types of people that only liked someone when they did something good for me. I genuinely liked this boy. It just so happened that we met over my almost death.

I pulled out my old seventh-grade journal and flipped it over to a drawing I had done when I started realizing boys for the first time.

The picture was almost an exact replica of Holden, but in cartoon form. Call me crazy and obsessed, but this had to be fate. Why else would I have drawn a sketch of a boy I had never met that I would meet almost half a decade later?

"Isn't Holden a spitting image of him?" I first saw images of him when I was hospitalized after catching a really bad bug on a vacation I took with my parents one summer. I dreamed about that boy, waiting patiently beside my bed waiting for me to wake up. Once I got better, I drew pictures of him everyday so I wouldn't forget his face.

"I've been obsessed with this dream since it happened. That's why I thought something good might happen between me and Holden but..."

Miranda flicked my forehead and I whined. "Wake up! At this rate, things won't be any different from middle school. You'll be the girl with the crush who was too shy to act on it and let the one get away."

"I know! I know!" I cried. I should stop the nonsense and engage in a real love life. It had just been a dream, that didn't mean this guy was my guy. For all I knew, my real guy could be somewhere else and Holden was just an obstacle to distract me so my real guy could get away.

As if some high deity had heard our conversation, Holden decided to walk past my classroom door at that moment. As usual his head was slumped down as he gazed at the floor and his earphones were in. Why did he always listen to music? Music wasn't even allowed in school, except for during gym and lunch. How did he get the privelege of listening to music when the rest of us couldn't? Or did he just not care whether or not he got into trouble?

"Alright, time for some action!" Miranda announced and before I could ask her what she meant by that, she was opening the door and pushing me out the door.

Right into the arms of Holden.

He seemed taken aback at my sudden appearance. He probably thinks I'm some sort of freak that just flies out of classroom doors, I thought miserably as I tried to regain my composure and smiled.

Once our eyes met I lost whatever surge of confidence I had. He stared at me lazily, waiting. I didn't think I would get this far. The last time we spoke I asked him, "Can you spare a pencil, please?" Only a half-dozen words. My mind was drawing a complete blank. 

What should I talk to him about? Sports? Did he even like sports? I had never seen him at any football games or any homecoming games.

Television shows? Did he even watch TV?