Our Destiny (Bungo Stray Dogs Soukoku)[Book 1]

Chapter 13- I Won't Be Late This Time

Mentions of underage drinking, attempted suicide, and drug abuse.

I never usually smoked in the house, even when under a load of stress. However, at the moment, I felt like that intoxicated eighteen year old sitting against the wall masturbating to the memories of his deflected partner.

The difference was that I was in the living room sitting on the couch, smoking what was probably my third cigarette this morning. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't masturbating.

I was calling Dazai again.

"You have reached the voicemail of–" I hung up. There was no point leaving voicemails if he wasn't listening to them. It could be said the same for the calls and texts I left him throughout the night upon returning home to a empty house.

It should have felt familiar, I should have been use to the sound of silence after coming home to it for four years. Who would have thought a week with the Bandaged Bastard would have erased the entire feeling of being alone.

My mind was racing on the different possibilities that could be happening. It was true that Dazai did use to disappear for long periods of time but he did usually check up with short messages.

But there were times like these, when he wouldn't respond or reach out. Those times didn't worry me as much but that could be because I wasn't the one making him leave.

Dazai seemed like a collected person but he has his insecurities too. After a year or so of dating, he started to become jealous if I did some things with other Mafia members, mostly if they were guys since Dazai knew I was gay. If he had nothing better to do, he would accompany me on missions which I did appreciate most of the time since most of the other lower ranking members were scrubs that barely knew how to point a gun.

Other times, it did get annoying because I could barely have any alone time. I knew he meant well and that I was the first person he had actually had real relationship with, but he had to learn that he needed to have faith and trust me. Even so, I had fallen to deeply for him to even consider letting him go.

I let out a weak chuckle as I put out the cigarette butt in my ash tray. I look at the open contact on my phone.

I use to get so mad at how clingy Dazai would get when he was worried about me but here I am, doing the same thing he use to do, texting and calling until I get an answer.

I let out a sigh, going from Dazai's contact to Kouyou's. I dialed the number as I set the ash tray and pack of cigarettes on the coffee table.

"Hello, Lad. What can I do for you?" Her voice was gentle over the phone. Kouyou had been that motherly figure that I never really had growing up in Suribachi City, even though she was only four years older than I was. If I had any problems she was usually the first person I went to.

My head fell back on the back of the couch. "Hey, do you mind telling the Boss that I won't be coming in today? I feel like shit."

"Oh? Are you ill, Chuuya?" She sounded slightly concerned. I never really got sick, so when I did, the woman was over at my house in no time with medicine and different herbal teas. It was almost ridiculous how much of a mother she was. "You aren't running a fever, are you?"

"No, I just–" I paused, thinking of how to explain I've been up all night worrying about a stupid suicidal maniac who was probably angry with me. "I haven't been getting a lot of sleep this week and it's just taking a toll on me."

The other side of the line was quiet for a minute, making me think she either hung up or the call dropped.

"Alright, I'll inform Ōgai but I will be paying you a visit in an hour or so to see how you are," She finally spoke.