Depression, Diabetes, and Everything Else I Love About You // GMxLZ

12

After telling the beauty I loved him, I told him everything else. About my mom and my brother. About Hanyu and I. It was like a confessional with the most beautiful angel. He told me things about his family and his surgeries too. Everything I needed to know to level the playing field. And I could confidently say that I was madly in love with the little bunny.

:::
School on Monday was a little less boring. No moments of total anguish and if there were then my little bunny would wash them away the minute he got close. Which was right now. Again we're in Mr. Lee's 8th period, almost finished with the day's lesson.

Gou MingRui is still sitting with the ew's, but now I don't mind.

Today, MingRui seems a little distant. This scares me a little, but I know we can talk it out of something was wrong.

"MingRui." I whispered, tapping the boy's shoulder. He turned and looked at me with a sad, tired smile. He's never looked this way.
"Are you okay bunny?" I asked, searching his pretty face for any signs or signals.

"I want to tell you something, so meet me in the bathroom yeah?" He asks as I fervently nodded my head. Anything for the beautiful boy.
But now I'm tense. What was he gonna say? Oh shit was I already a bad boyfriend, even though we weren't in an official relationship. Oh no was it the "I love you"? No, he said he loved me too. What if he changed his mind?

My head ran wild until Felix dismissed us, the two of us being the first out of the class.

::

All the bathroom stalls were empty, so picking one of as no heavy feat.

"Rui what's wrong? Did I do something?" I questioned as soon as he locked us in the stall.

"No! No this is nothing you did babe. I am the one who's conflicted and confused. I knew I should've told you about it when we were swimming but I didn't. Well I didn't know for sure at the time but now I do." He explained, hands landing on my shoulders. I nodded and listened intently.

"Okay, what do you need to tell me?"

He inhaled slowly and exhaled even slower. This must be big.

"I'm sorry I'm just nervous. I don't want you to see me any differently." He breathed harder as his eyes began to fill with tears.

"Hey hey, it's okay, there's nothing you could say that would change the way I look at you." I reassured him, kissing the boy's forehead.
Why don't you check your sugar, maybe you're a little emotional because of it." I suggested, rubbing his back.

He chuckled through his tears. "No it's okay."
"Okay if you say so." I said, peaking at my own screen to check his number. 125. He's fine.

"Whew! Okay." He started, looking up at me. I nodded.

"My heart isn't the one I was born with. It was someone else's, but they were kind enough that  when they passed they gave it to me." He said, even though I already knew.
I nodded again and told him to go on.

"And maybe it's why I have such an overwhelming pull towards you. And why you quickly became my favorite person. Because when I was 8 years old, a 15 year-old died in a car accident. And his heart was perfect and so it was given to me." He started to tear up again. This must be so emotional for him I felt terrible.

"So when you were talking about your brother my heart started beating like crazy and I couldn't help be feel like I had reconnected with you even though I had never known you , so I just had to wonder. And so when I got home... I asked my parents who came from."

My hands went clammy. I knew where this was going.

"My heart is your brother's."

There was silence. Stuffy, bad feeling silence and it lasted longer than it should have.

I didn't feel anger, but it wasn't happiness either. Was I indifferent to it or was it life changing. My brother's heart came back to me, a different love filling it now.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

My heart broke.
"This- you never need to apologize for. His heart saved you. And I couldn't have picked a better heart myself." I said, voice shaky and lips quivering.

"But, if I could have time to think... then I know I'll have a better reaction." I squeezed his shoulders as he nods. "Of course."

I kissed the boy and we said out goodbye for the night.

:::

"Dad?" I knocked on the wooden door frame of his office, him and mom were lounging on the leather sofa watching something on a tablet.

"Hi son, what do you need?" He asked, pausing the show and giving me the attention.

"Can I ask you something? Alone." I didn't want to hurt mom's feelings but it was a matter between father and son.

"Oh, yeah sure sweetheart," she got up from the couch's and kissed my forehead, walking out of the office and closing the door behind her.

"What's Zi?"

"What was he like?" I knew it was a vague question, but my nerves kept me from asking full force.

"Who?"

"My brother."

"Oh, Zi come here." He patted the cushion next to him and I sat. I didn't want to make eye contact with him but I knew he'd ask why I was being nervous.

"Your brother was really cool. And he had this... extreme brotherly love for you. I-I remember just a few months before the accident he started working out like crazy." Dad went on, tears forming in his eyes.

"When is ask him "why the change?" He'd say, in case little Zi needs me. Just in case he needs me. What if he needs me? He might need my kidney or heart or something." The look in my dad's face was somehow so happy yet so incredibly painful.

"But when we were in the hospital, and he had finally slipped. There was a little boy, not much younger than you, who's heart was failing and he needed a transplant, ASAP. And when it came to it, your brother would've given it to him even if he were still living. He was always doing something for someone else, like he knew he was going to die young."

I sat stunned. I couldn't move. MingRui really did have my brother's heart."

"Just in case he needs my heart dad, just in case." Dad repeated, face contorting with tears.

I did need it. I need MingRui.