Lost in the pages

Can't sleep

The snow was still falling heavily as we walked down the stairs. D'artaganan smiled at Constance and he offered her his arm as they crossed the courtyard. Athos stepped off the final stair and turned to look at me and held out his hand to me. I stepped down and he drew me close to him and smiled as he reached up and pulled up the hood on my cloak and stroked his gloved hand along my jaw.

"I am sorry if I was a little too forward" He said moving to my side and offering me his arm his other hand resting on the hilt of his sword as we walked

"I think you'll find that I was the one that kissed you first" I squeezed his arm hearing the leather creak under my fingers

"I am happy that you did, but I am still a man with a history" he frowned as we walked

"Don't we all have history?"

"I suppose that we do" He nodded "But mine is a dark one that I do not wish to burden anyone with"

"But isn't that why you have friends so you can talk to them"

"It is something even I do not want to think about" He took a deep breath. We crossed the street to where D'artaganan was holding open the door to the Cloth shop waiting for us. We stepped into the warmth of the shop.

"Where's Constance?" I asked as Athos closed the door

"She went to check on Bonacieux" D'artaganan said heading toward the stairs "Athos are you staying for a while?"

"No, I will go back to the Garrison, we are due at the Palace at dawn remember, the King wishes to go hunting" D'artaganan nodded

"Good night then, and I will let you say good night to Estelle" He smirked before taking the stairs two at a time.

"My friend is not tactful" Athos said taking his hat off and holding it in his hands almost a little nervously

"Thank you for not turning your back on me tonight" I watched as he put his hat on a chair "I was scared when you walked out of the Tavern" I shivered a little at the thought of him not giving me a chance; he looked at me

"I am afraid that you will disappear again, but it is nothing more than I deserve if you did" he lifted my hand and looked at my fingers

"I'm not going to disappear, I promise you" I stepped closer to him "I don't want to be anywhere but close to you" his frown lifted and he smiled at me

Athos drew me too him and kissed my forehead. I laid my head against the cold wet leather of his jacket on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart I felt him press his lips to my hair. I looked up at him and he bent his head and kissed me. He pulled back

"I have to leave" he sighed "as much as I don't want to" he took a deep breath "May I see you again" I nodded "Goodnight Estelle"

"Goodnight Athos" I walked to the door with him and watched as he walked away down the street and disappeared around the corner. I closed the door and made my way up the stairs and into the living room D'artaganan was standing looking into the fire "Is everything alright?"

"I was waiting to see you" I took off my cloak and put it to dry in front of the fire.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing, I wanted to make sure that you were alright" he seemed a little awkward "I do not wish to pry but Athos isn't... well he's... I've never known him with a woman; he is brooding and spends his nights in the tavern seeking some solace in the bottom of a tankard" D'artaganan rubbed the back of his neck "He's brisk in the way he speaks to almost everyone"

"I'm fine" I assured him "And he has warned me about his dark side himself" I walked over to D'artaganan and squeezed his hand "Thank you for worrying, Good night D'artaganan"

"Good night Estelle" I walked passed the door to the room of Constance and Bonacieux and knocked, There was deep snoring coming from the bed and Constance was standing looking out of the window.

"I wanted to say good night" she jumped and looked at me and wiped her eyes on her hands "Constance?" She came over to me and we stepped out into the hall "What's wrong?"

"Nothing I'm just being silly" She sniffed "Sleep well and tomorrow I have to go with" she looked back at her husband and then to me "to the Palace... I'm bringing you along with us as well"

"But, why?" I stammered "I only have" I looked down at my dress that was dirty all around the bottom from the mud and the snow.

"I have set out a gown for you" she smiled before hugging me "Good night"

"Night Constance" I walked into the room she'd given me and sat on the edge of the basic bed and touched my lips that were slightly chaffed from the whiskers of Athos's beard.

I flopped back on the firm bed and looked at the shadows created by the fire. I had a warm feeling in my stomach just thinking of Athos and the times he'd kissed me. I pulled myself back up and stripped out of the dress and climbed under the covers on the bed. but struggled to sleep with everything going round in my head. I tossed and turned most of the night and even heard D'artaganan get up to leave before dawn.

I slipped out of bed and picked up the blanket and wrapped it around me and hurried over to the window and looked out and saw Athos, Porthos and Aramis waiting on horseback outside. I lent on the frame and smiled as D'artaganan walked out and mounted his horse and they started to move away. Athos stopped his horse and turned and looked up. He smiled and touched the brim if his hat before turning away and moving away following the others.

Never in my life had a man ever made me feel so nervous, I had had boyfriends and I had lived with my last one for a while, but he'd become suffocating and lazy. I walked back to my bed and heard the sounds of movement in the other room. I opened the door and walked in as Constance was stoking the range fire and putting on a copper kettle of water on the top for tea.

"Good morning?" I said making her jump out of her skin "Sorry"

"You scared me" she gasped smiling "Sorry If I woke you"

"You didn't, I heard D'artaganan leave" I sat down "I didn't sleep much last night"

"Oh yes?" she poured the hot water onto the tea leaves and sat across from me "Someone on your mind" she giggled