31. A World Alone

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Before Liz and I part ways in the front foyer of school, I tug at her jacket. "Hey Liz? Thank you for what you said. You're a good friend."

She smiles softly. "Anytime."

"And please don't say—"

She zips her lips closed. "Lips sealed."

I take the long way around to History class because I don't want to walk by the Spanish wing where Ben is. After History class, I hide in the bathroom and wait until the last bell for third period rings. Senorita Nuñez doesn't care if I walk in late.

I sit down in my usual seat while Senorita Nuñez takes roll call and notice Marie is staring at me. Whenever we lock eyes, she does this weird head tilt to get my attention and I look away.

When the bell rings, I jump up from my desk without zipping my backpack books slide across the floor. An arm reaches down and picks up the books.

"Thanks," I mumble to Marie.

"Hey, Rory?" she says in a mousy way.

She's going to ask me to confirm my status with Ben, isn't she? I try to avoid her but her legs are so damn long that she only has to make one step before I'm trapped. "I need to ask you a question."

Her eyes are all red and glossed and her face is tight. "What's up?" I ask.

"Is..." she shifts her eyes. "Is Dean with Val Mercede now?"

I feel a heaviness float off my shoulders. "Maybe? I don't know."

"So they aren't dating?"

I shrug. "I'm sorry, Marie. You're going to have to ask him yourself. I've gotta get to class." I make my escape and reach Math without bumping into Ben but lunch is next. How am I going to avoid him then?

When the lunch bell rings, I try to be brave and march straight into the cafeteria. Right away I see his honey hair. He's ten feet in front of me with his green and black backpack. He turns his head, and I can see his long lashes and smooth nose as he waves at his usual table with Fred and Cody. He's not smiling.

My knees feel like they're about to give out. I hear static in my ears and suddenly can't feel my arms. I spin around and rush out of the cafeteria.

Allison and Val are right in front of me, putting their hands up to slow me down. I say "I forgot something. Be right back!" and keep walking. I sit at my desk for English class until lunch is over.

In gym, I almost throw up and faint at the same time during a game of Ultimate Frisbee. The teacher gives me a dollar to buy a snack at the vending machine. I get Pop Tarts and sit on the side while everyone else runs around, chasing a plastic disk like it's the Olympics.

In Animal Behavior, Mr. Russo saves the day because he finally brings in his Australian Shepherd, Lucy and I'm completely distracted. We spend the entire period teaching Lucy new tricks and rewarding her with a clicker. We have her crawl under desks and sit with her front paws up.

When the final bell for school rings, I hang back and scratch Lucy's ears while the rest of the class files out. "Cute puppy," I say to her in a baby voice.

"Somebody's changed their tune since this morning," Dean says.

"Don't you have practice?"

He scrunches his nose at Lucy. "I can be late." He sits on the floor and lets her lick his face.

"You should've joined PAWS, Mr. Myers," says Mr. Russo as he packs up his things.

Dean smirks. "Maybe I will after the season is over."

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