Royal Mistake || BxB || Complete.

Chapter Forty-three

Alexander's POV:

The cold breeze gently brushed against the back of my neck, of all days, of course the weather had chosen my first time at a graveyard to bring out its weekly gloom, we walked in between endless gray headstones and countless forgotten names, the eerie feeling I felt only solidified my satisfaction in my own death plan, I wanted to donate my organs and have whatever is left of me cremated and scattered across the archer's river, where many of my idols chose to rest in the serenity of the water, Charles evidently had avoided the topic completely, and I did not bring it up because I knew he was much more fragile than he'd like to admit. 

We eventually stopped in front of a specific headstone, Warren slowly bent down and set a bouquet of flowers on top of the grave, settling on the empty patch of grass that was beside it, he took a long breath that did not seem to leave his chest, Charles and I remained silent as to allow him to let all of his feelings out with no interruption. 

'hey mom, I can't believe I forgot to visit you yesterday, I promise you that will never happen again, I was just so caught up in this dumb love stuff, but if anything its made me realize how much I miss you, you'd know just the right thing to say to make this heartbreak and every other heartbreak go away, I feel so lost the more I explore this world without you here', he wanted to speak more words, but a cry choked out and made him lose his words, as the salty liquid seeped down his cheeks and onto his hands. 

I bent down and sat next to him, my arm wrapped around his shoulders and his head settled against my chest as he quietly cried, there was nothing I hated more than this, not the comforting of the hurt, but the helplessness that consumed me, grief was foreign to me which meant my brain could not come up with a few simple words to help him deal with it easier, and as a person with basic intelligence, I knew it was not that easy anyways, so the only thing I could offer him was my shoulder. 

In my head I began thinking of ways I could deal with his other source of heartbreak, and it scared me how much I understood Charles's way of thinking in those moments, some people really just need a good "friendly" chat. 

We remained on the grass for 10 minutes maybe, at one point he had stopped crying and had begun humming something, he mentioned it was a song his mom used to love, my hand traced gentle comforting circles against his back, once he was ready to go, he let us know and finally let out that seemingly long held in breath, I stood up first and helped him up, the car ride back home was quiet, but I noticed that Warren looked more relieved and relaxed than the morning and I felt grateful for that. 

Charles was driving the car and it didn't take long for us to get back, we all exited the car and headed inside, they both sat on the couch and I made my way to the kitchen, so many thoughts raced through my head as I took my sweet time preparing two cups of tea, once I finished, I took them outside and set them down on the table, both figures glanced me a unanimous confused look, noticing quickly the absence of a third cup. 

'I'm really sorry I have to do this, but I got a really important errand to run for art class so I'll be gone for a bit, are you okay with that?', I didn't know who I was asking honestly, Warren was in a sad daze, and Charles had grown even more protective after the incident happened, but both of them nodded anyways, I sighed, kissing Charles goodbye and ruffling Warren's hair before heading out into the cold outside again. 

I had lied to both of them, but they would forgive me eventually. 

I was actually going to the school library, where I knew a certain person was drowned out in a book and unaware of the fact that he was waiting for me, realistically, my brief ride on the bus should've been my planning time, I should've collected my thoughts, and come up with a civil plan, but that idea did not occur to me at the time as I was overcome with a strange hurt filled anger.