He sat in the lap of the nature yet not letting it's beauty entice him for his beauty was mad at him. As if being her second priority was not enough, he had to live with her hatred now.
Hatred because he knew whoever disliked her baby earned a boon of hatred from her side.
Dislike he won't say; hate, he would never.
He was just sad, never jealous of the baby. Apparently, it took him to long to convince himself to live with that feeling. How he wished he had not voiced out his insecurities his confusions to another soul.
He felt sibel's hand on his shoulder.
Glancing at her hand kept on his shoulder, he turned away in seconds. A sigh left sibel's lips. She held her belly and took a seat beside him Uninvitedly. Ramo looked at her hand on her belly and scoffed. Sibel couldn't gauge the reason behind his reaction yet she wanted to ensure that he knew she won't leave for the baby because of his mood swings and demands.
When he didn't say anything, she placed her hands on top of his.He immediately knew that she was no longer angry. He felt relieved. Then again, if she was not angry, what was her feelings?
"All I heard till now was a lie, Now the truth?"
She demanded.
It was not a lie, he replied honestly.
Sibel nodded. She took deep breaths in and out trying her best to not get angry as she had been moments earlier.
Then how's it? Bak Ramo, let's talk about this like a mature couples, she offered.
I shouldn't have reacted like that. You are right, I overreact, because i am sensitive. If i did something wrong. I didn't mean to and I don't need to your words to know that you didn't mean whatever you said a while ago either.
Ramo looked at her with emotions filled in his eyes. He was almost crying. How, just how could she know what he meant and not just like that? He held her hands in his. She lightly brushed his palm with her thumb,that was reassuring.
She inched closer to his form. His free arm wrapped itself around her. She rested her head on his chest. How was happy at the moment. It was something he wanted.
"I love you" she was crying. They did not need such reassurance from each other often. Today Sibel felt need to say it.
Thus, the words escaped her mouth even when she was mad at him moments earlier.
"But that doesn't mean I don't or I can't love the baby. How could you say that? I know you didn't mean to. Whatever the reason how could you declare our baby as your mistake?
Ramo could die to wipe the shedder tears of her. Only that at this moment, he needed her to wipe his unshed tears.
After five minutes of sibel's constant crying, he knew he had to tell her things as they are. Apparently keeping her unaware was giving her more pain than awaring her would have.
I am..... don't know how to say this,
I won't judge you, she assured him.
"I think i am insecure of the baby"he put it nice and straight.
Sibel raised her head from his chest. She was not expecting this at all.if he said he was jealous , she would tease him so much.
What was the line between playful jealousy and hurting insecurity that the sight of his fcae transferred her sympathies to him from herself over the course of sentence?
You don't need to be, she whispered, nuzzling into his neck.
Easier said than done, he replied and she kissed his chin.
Sibel, I understand the you love baby more than you love me and now this baby is priority. But i am selfish, i am ashamed of myself. I can't help control my feelings though can i? Earlier i was your first priority, all your attention was no me, suddenly i am having to share you. I. Couldn't take it easily and ended up questioning my own decision, he bared his heart.
Sibel didn't reply to him for moments. She took her sweet time understand each word he said this evening and what made him say it. Some made sense or some did not. They stayed like that for a minutes.it was so easy to say he was insecure of the baby because of reason one, two, three. Sibel wanted to see beyond that. Was she at fault?
........
After what seemed like hours, Sibel cupped his face and started to talk, did i do something to make you feel i love you any less than the baby.
Ramo touched her hand that was on his cheek, you are not wrong to care for the baby.
Answer my question please. She uttered.
Ramo scrunched his eyes.
If you are insecure now rather than when I informed you about my pregnancy, I must have done something wrong in between. Sibel said.
I am not sure if what you did was wrong.
Who i am to question a mother's love? It's your right, he replied.
I want truth, be clear. What i did to upset you? Sibel asked again making him look at her emotionally.
I am just upset to see you caring so much the baby and its feels like you never loved me as much. These days i feel left out, it feels like you and our baby on one side of the river and i am on the other side. And the most interesting thing is I know I shouldn't feel such things yet I can't help.
He continued, Then I thought this baby is in the centre of all these distances we have developed. If the baby was not here, we would be like before. That's why I started having second thoughts.
Any other time sibel would react to his words too. Only that this time, she did not want to. She wanted to act like the wife she was before getting pregnant. She had to ignore the voice of her mood swings and wash away all the insecurities clouded in his mind.
She had to let him know who her first baby was.
.....
Ramo scooted away from sibel as much to her disappointment. Here she planned to pamper him after a long time and there he still stood, ahem sat, angrily? How did a child become a Child's father?
What ? She made him face her by holding his chin. Ramo shook his head, still deep in thoughts.He took a deep breath.
Nothing, he said. Sibel let him have the moment of silence. She needed some herself too. It was not easy being patient especially when the junior version of very inpatient Ramo had made her home in-her tummy.
.....
I was feeling ignored by you, he restarted, I just couldn't handle it.
Sibel nodded. She placed her head to rest on his chest . He did not snake his arms around her like usual and let himself have the one sided warmth.
I am sorry if i made you feel like that. All i was doing was taking care of my baby.
I know , Ramo said.All expectant mothers do.Hopefully Answer my question:
Are they all obsessed with the baby? Its good to be overprotective but should it be at the cost of all other Relationships you have?
What do you mean? She asked.
I won't beat around the bush, I believe i can tell you whatever in my mind without being judge. I didn't like how you behaved today at all. Ramo said.
Sibel sighed, i am sorry.
I am talking about what you did all day today . I want to spend some quality time together but what you did? It doesn't matter how, us spending time together is all the matters. You seemed pretty uninterested why? Is it because you no longer feel for me or i was right that taking care of this baby more means more than spending time with me? He asked.
No and yes? She replied before cupping his face, i can never stop feeling for you they way i do. It is impossible. The way you love me, I love you the same. Don't bring that thought ever again.
She continued, and yes, I won't lie to you. This baby is my first priority now. I am sorry if i hurt you but you need to know you are perfectly able to take care for yourself. This baby is not. I have to care him or her. You are not completely wrong either. Perhaps it's because of my pregnancy, my inexperience along with the complications and my own emotional self is unable to maintain a balance. I am sorry maybe I'll be better in my next pregnancy if we plan another baby in the future or you will be better able to support me.
I don't want another baby. You,I,and this is enough . Ramo frowned.
A small smile plastered on her lips, Really? What if he or she wants a sibling?
Shaheen is getting married soon. Shaheen or hassan Aby kids or fetos should be good be enough for her to play. He replied.
She chuckled making him look in her direction after a long time.
Tamam, for now can we talk about the baby i have infront of me? She encircled her arms around his neck. He glared at her.
I am talking about you, won't you like to eat?
I am starving
Ahh yes, he stood up from the bench, held sibel's hand and gestured her to come along.
I was thinking i will leave from office on Monday and I suggest you do the same. She offered.
You don't have to do this for me, Ramo said.
Anyways there are only three weeks till you maternity leave. As it is, we both are missing a lot of office because of fortnightly check ups and and prenatal classes. If we were not at the executive level, we would surely be fired.
Hhh Mr. booring, she tried to cheer him up. Here i am giving a chance to spend time with me on a sliver platter and you are thinking of office.
Mrs. boring , your wish, my command , he hinted and she took her sweet time to understand the meaning behind his words.
......
Ramo woke up in the morning after with a rain of kisses. He never thought one declaration from his side will return him so much love from Sibel. All he wanted was the normal sibel back. The wife who pampered him was an added bonus. He was certainly not complaining.
His arms snaked around her. The back of his left one caressed her bump for a few seconds.
She kissed his left eye for one more time making him smile. He sat up on the bed and took her in his lap.
Looks like someone is desperate to make up for her acts. He remarked.
No need to make me feel worse, she said. I thought you will like it if i wake you up like this.
I loved it, he whispered in her ears before kissing her earlobe.she giggled.
"Gülüm " he breathed in her neck making her giggle.
Stop it I've grown sensitive in these areas, she informed.
Oops, he apologised and picked a new spot to do his ministrations.
Best morning in a while, he said.sibel felt happy that she could make it up to him.
Apparently, her love was all he needed.
She squeezed into his arms maintaining her position in his lap. I was thinking what can we do today?
What do you want? He asked.
I am asking you? Your choice,she announced.
can we full our tummies ?he made patterns on her bump and asked.
That's my dialogue, she pointed out.
There is no yours and mine between you and me, is it? He asked shyly.
You should give away lessons on how to play with words,she remarked, maybe charge a hundred bucks an hour.
That's a poor deal, he sounded conflicted,
" a thousand bucks and no less"
She only laughed.
.......
Precap: Not decided 😐
