Heaven Knows

Fifty Six

I was still very nervous. This was the first time he was going out alone and the last time he was with them, it wasn't a pretty memory.

Tyler held my cheeks and gave my lips a long and soft kiss. His eyes burned through me as he said, "I will be okay. God is with me."

"I need you back, okay?" I said with a half smile.

"I will always come back to my girls." His hand held the bottom of my belly and Bird bounced. Tyler chuckled and said, "I love you, girls! I'll call you when I'm on my way back!"

"Okay. Make sure to call if anything! I'll have my phone in my pocket."

Tyler blew me a kiss and disappeared out the door.

Now I let out a sigh as I hear Mom's footsteps. She appears around the corner. "Oh," she says. "He left already?" I sadly nod and she runs a warm hand on my shoulders. "Don't worry, sweetie. He needs a small distraction."

"Me, too," I say as I start towards the fridge. "Ice cream."

Mom giggles as I take out strawberry ice cream. As I serve myself, I see Mom quietly walk back to my room so I follow her with furrowed brows and a large cup of Strawberry ice cream.

"What are you doing, Mom?"

I peek in to see her looking around my room. She runs a hand on the wooden crib and softly says, "Where will her clothes go?"

I walk to an area I've envisioned and point at it. "Around here maybe."

"You don't have a separate room for the baby?"

"I was thinking that she could sleep in my room for right now."

"But you still need a nursery room."

I stay silent at this as I realize that I haven't thought much of Bird's arrival. She's due in a few weeks and this conversation is making me a bit nervous.

But Mom can see it clearly as she warmly smiles at me. "Let's see where we can organize it. Maybe in your study room since you won't work any time soon."

"But it's too late," I say. "I can't move things around."

"That's why you ask for help, honey. You have us now. Mr. Blue. Your brother. Everyone is here for you."

My heart melts at this kind gesture as we step into the study room. "I just don't want to bother. I feel so behind on motherhood that I'm nervous that—"

"Hey." Mom takes my arms and burns her blue eyes at me. "You are going to be a wonderful mother. Better than I ever was. Plus. You weren't planning on Tyler getting sick or nearly losing the house during pregnancy."

I smile at Mom and gently hold my belly with one hand. "I just want to be good for Bird."

"You are enough. Love is enough." Mom's eyes suddenly land on my chest and they grow wide. "Uh oh. Looks like your body is all ready for Bird!"

I look down and see my shirt slowly showing stains. I gasp and look for a towel. Mom does a small chuckle as she watches me carefully wipe the white substance away. "There's a special bra for that."

"I know. I haven't had time for myself really." I gently look for a towel to keep at it as more of it slowly falls. My heart seems to melt at this sight.

I'm ready to hold her.

"Well, let me treat you then! Grandma has to do something!"

"Grandma has done enough," I say as I'm finally able to throw the towels away. "I really don't want to bother, Mom—"