Walking In Worlds Beyond (A Lord of the Rings Fanfic)

Chapter 5

The elven lady, Lirel, kindly left after ensuring Emily had everything she needed.

Initially, as hard as it was, Emily convinced herself she was fine and that she was thankful to be alone. It had taken every ounce of her control to stop tears from forming in her eyes the whole time Lirel gently fussed over her, but she had done it, swallowing them down and burying them.

Now she moved about her room as if in a dream, totally unaware of what she was doing and mind totally blank.

By the time she had made it into the warm tub of water, her thoughts began to stir and the quiet of the washroom thundered in her ears. A now-familiar tight lump in her throat rose and Emily clenched her jaw.

She finished washing, dried off, dressed in clean sleeping clothing and undergarments, and had just started combing her long brown hair when she finally lost the battle and saw tears start slipping down her face in the mirror. Her freckled nose was red and the sun-kissed cheeks were blotchy from where she scrubbed at the unwanted tears. Somehow looking at the red rims of her own miserable brown eyes made her feel even more sorry for herself and she hiccuped before tearing her eyes away and hurrying to braid her hair, lips trembling as she fought to stay calm.

When she came out, the fresh food on the little table by the balcony in the main room barely tempted her, and Emily went instead to the wonderfully soft bed, flopped onto it, buried her face in the pillows, and let go.

Silently sobbing her heart out, the girl couldn't hide from everything she had previously locked away. There were no excuses anymore. She was alone and had no appearances to keep up.

She was scared, very scared, and feeling so alone in this big world that was not her own.

Now that the feeling of security Estel, the twins, and Legolas gave her was gone, she realized how very broken and defenseless she was inside. It was not unlike the feeling she got in her gut when her siblings moved away from home for the first time. That bitter sense, mourning the loss of someone you wanted to stay with you and to be a part of your every day. It was the sour taste of childhood ending and being forced to be hard and strong just to survive the harsh realities of life. And it hurt. It hurt having remembered what it was like to be cherished and loved by people who would tease and carry on, enjoying you for you, only to have them leave you alone when you wanted them most. That always seemed to happen to her. And now it was worse. Instead of the comfort of familiar surroundings or even her parents, she had nothing.

She was also afraid of what would happen to her now. She was afraid of what all these new elves would think of her. She was terrified of making a mistake in this grand house and feared she would not go home. She worried about her family missing her. And most of all she was angry. Furious with herself for acting so ridiculous and behaving like a weakling. Angry that she was crying just because she was left alone.

It shouldn't be that big a deal! It's not like you didn't see this coming Emily, come on! Whatever, they are busy, it's not a big deal. Maybe you'll see them tomorrow at some point! Being alone isn't the end of the world!

These thoughts did nothing to stop her from crying, so she let herself sob noiselessly into the pillow until there was a knock at the door.

Instantly Emily stopped breathing and listened.

It's probably Lirel. Maybe she will leave if she thinks I'm asleep.

The knocking came again, louder this time.

"Emily?"

Recognizing the voice of one of the twins, Emily was torn between not answering and throwing open the door.