dinner with the dragneels

Ⅲ

"so i just have to watch from the windows? that's boring."

"nah, you could get a bodyguard/tour guide/all-around cool guy to show you around."

"that's... an oddly specific request. do... you guys just have those walking around?"

natsu grinned. "you're looking at him."

lucy squinted. "not really seeing the all-around cool guy bit, honestly. are you sure you're the right guy?"

natsu made a face. "here i was being nice. what the fuck do you see in her, wendy?"

"language!" wendy said immediately. "and that's mean! but i'm totally on board. it's dangerous out there, lucy. but natsu's a rich boy, which means he's had way too much time on his hands, and he's taken up some dangerous hobbies."

"like... knitting?" she asked.

"how is- no, i mean, like, throwing knives, and stuff."

"those knitting needles are sharp, okay?" lucy shuddered. "they could easily take someone's eye out."

"then i'm bringing some knitting needles," natsu puffed his chest out. 

"i'm bringing a can of pepper spray just in case you get out of line," lucy sniffed. "do not turn those knitting needles towards me, you hear?"

"wasn't planning on it," natsu grinned. "what kind of bodyguard would i be if i did that, princess?"

lucy hesitated. "okay. fine. but first, i'm going to go actually finish my breakfast."

"we can raid the kitchen!" wendy clapped her hands excitedly. "a good heist is always great for team bonding."

"but we're not a-" lucy began.

"we are a team and we are bonding," wendy repeated.

"we are a team and we are bonding," lucy echoed defeatedly.

"team bonding!" natsu cheered, sprinting in the direction of the kitchen.

"oi, wait for me, dickhead!" lucy pulled off her heeled boots and took off barefoot.

"language!" wendy shrieked, trailing behind them.

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

they crouched behind the heavy metal kitchen door, surveying the staff as they scurried about.

"wait, couldn't we just... ask for food?" lucy asked.

"shhh!" natsu and wendy hissed.

"okay," lucy lowered her voice to a whisper. "but my point stands. don't you guys own this place?"

"yeah, but it's more fun this way," wendy whispered. "besides! team bonding! we've been over this!"

"okay, um, we need a distraction-" the moment lucy uttered those words, natsu charged in, picked up a pair of pots and pans, and started banging them together.

"that works," wendy shrugged, slipping by. lucy spared the kitchen staff one last glance. they looked more amused than annoyed, though some of them were clearly trying to find polite alternatives to 'get the fuck down from there young man.'

wendy wrapped a hand around lucy's wrist and tugged her to the left. "cmon! pantry's this way."

they scurried off, and natsu was clearly having way too much fun with his distraction. what bothered her the most was the fact that there was actually rhythm to his pot banging. she shook her head. something about natsu knowing anything about music was disturbing.