Forever & Always (Forever & Always #1) (boyxboy)

A Sudden Realization

"Everyone thinks I should give up. Well not my parents, but that's because they love you too. Not as much as I do of course. No one loves anyone like I love you. But they think I should leave. I haven't once you know..." Again he stopped to cry for a while. It was in those moments I wanted to comfort him. But I couldn't.

"You have been in this coma for two months. They have been the longest two months of my life. They have been the loneliest two months of my life. I know our love has kept you alive. Not the machines or the tubes. It's been our love. But now I need it to be you alone Jess. You have to be the one who fights. Please Jesse. Fight for us. I will be here when you wake up. And when you do we can start our lives together. Everything I said at the lake is what I want. But I can't have that unless you wake up baby."

"I am begging you. I know it's been hard on you. You have suffered more than anyone should have, and I get that. But if you do not live I have no one. But I understand." He stopped and sobbed for a few seconds.

"If you have to leave me. If your body wont allow you to fight any more. Or if you're too tired to fight. Then I forgive you for leaving me and I understand. But one day, I will be buried beside you. It will not be too long after. You want to know the reason? It's because I will never, and I mean NEVER, love anybody else but you." 

I knew I wanted to cry when the room fell silent again. I wanted to shut everything out. I was broken. I was alone. Even when I felt Noah's soft lips on my cheek. As he brushed a kiss on my cheek and allowed his lips to linger. It was a kiss I had always known he could give. One just as sweet and loving as he was.

He's here and he is kissing me. But does he know? I can not see how he could know and still be here. But how could it not have gotten out? Why is everything so fucking hard? If I was better, if I was worth him I would will myself to wake up. But it would not be fair on him to wake up. He needs someone to love him. Not just someone who loves him. But someone who is whole.

Some time later, I am not sure how long. But the heart monitor's steady rhythm changed. It got louder. Not faster, but louder. My heart beat was an incredible sound. It had sounded weak before. Almost like it had broken. But now it sounded as if it was healing. I heard a chair being scraped across the floor and breath caressed my cheek.

"You see. You can still fight. Your heart is getting strong and stronger. That right there just proved it. Your heart belongs to me, it always has. And now it's getting better. It may be a new one. But this one will be stronger than your last one. You have to believe in us Jesse. I miss you so much. I've cried every day you've been in here. I don't think I cried this much when my uncle died. Do you remember? You held me while I cried over him." He took a breath.

"No one has touched me since you slipped into the coma. I have not allowed anyone to touch me. And I wont. Not until I can be back in your arms. Your beautful strong arms. I love you angel." He cried.

"That's the one thing I want you to remember. I love you more than life itself. And that if you decide to come back to me. I promise that no one will ever hurt you again. And I mean no one. I will always protect you."

A knock on the door interrupted Noah's speech. Footsteps approached the bed and someone leaned forward and kissed my forehead. And then another pair of lips kissed the top of my head. Neither lingered the way Noah's had though.

"How is he doing?" asked Grace, her sweet voice giving me more comfort. But again worried me at the same time.

Noah coughed and I heard a lid pop, before he answered a few seconds later. "His heart is fighting. I know he's coming back to me. He has to. I am never going to live without him. And I feel fine. So I know deep down. No matter how long it takes. He's going to come back to me."