Pitiful I Know

Chapter 36

I drove fast back home.

The sun was just at the wrong level, blinding my sight, but I didn't slow down and finally I parked in the familiar driveway.

What would I be walking into? I really hoped it wouldn't be a drunken dad crying, because I didn't think I could handle that.

The very few times I had seen my father cry, it wasn't something easy to see, because, for one thing, my dad didn't deserve that, and also because my dad wasn't meant to cry. My dad was meant to smile and laugh and make jokes.

In a way, I wanted to walk slowly to the door, but my legs almost ran to it, because I needed to be there.

I didn't even have to open the door, Tyler did it for me. He had probably been waiting.

"How bad is it?" I whispered to him, slipping out of my shoes.

"He's down to half the bottle now and he's at the tape from our trip to Cocoa Beach when Annabelle tried to convince that surfer that she was just as cool because she rocked at snowboarding, which we all know she didn't, but that's not the point right now," Ty trailed walking slowly by my side towards the living room where I could hear the voices of all my family.

"Come on, Mom! Come swimming! You know you're the best," I was whining.

"Go with the kid Heather! Show all these young ones how we do it," my father laughed, behind the camera.

"Lexi, you are blocking my sun. You and your shadow can go to... oooh cute guy. I'm outta here," Anna said and then I could see the screen of the TV and I could see my sister with her ebony hair and perfect tan, brushing the sand off her legs and walking towards whoever she had seen.

"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, please, Mom, Mom, Mom, please, please, Mom..." Tyler was repeating over and over again beside my mother who was lying on her beach towel, wearing the smile I hadn't seen on her face for so long.

My eyes teared up.

"Alright, alright kids. Come on. First that gets in the water can throw your father in the ocean," she yelled and then ran on the beach, my brother and I with her.

"Heather," my father yelled, laughing.

I could feel a lump in my throat.

Why was he watching that? Why was he scratching the wound? He was just making things worse.

"Dad?" I asked and walked towards him.

"I remember that year we had arrived around two in the morning, and all the motels had no vacancy signs. We couldn't find anywhere to go and parked in the nice road close to the ocean, with the big house probably worth millions."

"And Ty had to pee so he went on the million dollars properties, beside a palm tree and you follow his lead few minutes later," I continued smiling, while my dad paused the tape.

"And then the cops arrived," Ty smiled lightly.

"Five minutes earlier and I would have been arrested for public urinating or something like that," my father smiled sadly.

I walked up to the recliner and sat on it, looking at my father all the while.

"My brother called. Preston died," my father whispered and then I saw the bottle of Jack on the floor, and the glass in his hand.

Oh Dad.

"It's not like we didn't expect it. We had been waiting for it to happen for years now, and of course we weren't as close as when we were kids anymore, but," my father trailed but then stopped speaking.