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24. Addy

      "Hey..." Gabriel sounds sort of in schock. He hasn't seen his little sister in...Ages.

Gabriel is a semi tall guy, with almost blonde hair sticking out in every direction. He's built like he should play sports, but he never did and Adaline doesn't really know if he started after moving out. Probably not. He liked watching basketball but...She doesn't know. Probably never will.

      "Sorry it just took us a lot longer to get back then we thought it would-" Adaline is cut off by Aimee.

      "You shouldn't have gone on a trip if you knew we were coming, Addy," Aimee always sounds so angry. She's a lot shorter than Gabriel, a lot skinnier with shoulder length dark brown hair and a resting bitch face. Adaline tries not to think too hard about her sister even when speaking to her.

      "Sorry," Adaline pushes past everyone, into her room, she knows Aimee is following behind her.

      "We've been here since last night, the least you could do was answer the phone," she nags while Adaline puts her things back to where they belong.

      "My phone was off, I wanted to spend time with Clay," Adaline shrugs. She doesn't bother even looking at her sister.

      "That's so inconsiderate," Aimee spits.

      "What's inconsiderate is you showing up to my apartment uninvited and unwanted, I didn't ask you to come, I didn't want you to come. Sorry that I already had these plans before you decided you were entitled to visit," Adaline finally turns around, Aimee is standing there with her arms crossed, she can see Clay, her brother, and her roommates all standing in the doorway.

It's so weird how she can go from being so happy to so angry, so hurt.

She looks to Clay. He makes her happy. Always has, always will. The entire sun, the warmth in the snow. There's a part of her hoping that he'll tell Aimee to leave her alone, to get out of here. But most of her knows he won't, this is her fight that she has to do on her own, her problem. That's paying the consequence of keeping everything to herself and she damn well knows that. Karma, again. Everything balances out, everything has a reason to it. Adaline remembers being young and her parents teaching her about God, saying that he does everything for a reason. She doesn't even believe in God anymore but the thought still crosses her mind.

      "I'm here to apologize," Aimee says, a little bit quieter than her previous statements. "But you've always been so stubborn, I'm sorry I came all this way for nothing."

She's always had a way about making people feel bad for her. This is more shock than guilt here, though.

Aimee turns around, pushing past everyone to get out of the room, they all turn to watch her leave but none, not even Gabe, turn to follow her. She deserves it and Adaline doesn't feel guilt for knowing that.

       "Addy, cmon," Gabe starts.

Adaline lets out a sigh and tries not to start crying while she says in a shaky voice, "I don't go by Addy anymore. Can you guys all just...Jesus fucking christ, I need a second."

As the group, Clay included, shuffle away, Adaline sits on her bed, The past few days- the past ten minutes have been such a rollercoaster.

There are times when everything feels so slow and so extremely frozen and there are others when everything goes by so fast. The ground starts shaking and the air is so cold, breathing becomes less and less easy. She knows the panic is bad when her hands start shaking and the sound of the air conditioner makes her want to cry, when it's all too bright in the room and the knocking on her door might just be the reason she jumps out the goddamn window.

      "Hey..." a soft voice, Maira's voice.

Adaline feels guilty for being gone so much and that guilt especially applies to Maira. Out of all of them Maira deserves the most. Always such a kind soul and here Adaline is, abandoning her to deal with all of this while she goes off to hang out with some guy. Maira doesn't deserve that.

Adaline looks up at her friend but doesn't say anything. There's no point in it, is there? Acting like everything is okay? She'd rather Maira leave, in all honesty. That would be easier. She'd rather be left alone to deal with her own stuff, her own crippling problems.

She thinks back to the junior year biology incident. How she ran out of the room and how she couldn't breathe and Maira followed after with no questions, no hesitation at all. She remembers sitting on the stairs and crying, repeating 'Why did I do that? Why did I do that?' over and over again, Maira only held her hand. She doesn't deserve to be pushed away right now. She was there when Adaline sat in jail, she covered for everyone when they were caught drinking. It's only fair that Adaline lets Maira in, that she trusts her enough to sit down and stay. It's what good friends do, right? They help each other, they care about each other. That's what Addy and Maira do.

      "Addy-"

      "Get out."

Adaline looks at Maira's hurt expression.

      "And I don't go by Addy anymore." 

Word count: 1593

A/N: BFIKGRGFIBW i was depressed sorry this chapter didn't come out sooner anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 20K AAAAYYYYYEEEE