Being Non-binary

What happens on testosterone TW: Needles, Body dysmorphia

As someone who has been on testosterone injections for 2 years, I wanted to share what it's been like and what I wish I was told before starting.

So, like a lot of people I have a huge fear of needles. sadly, the only form of testosterone that was available to me was injections. When I did my first shots(which I do once a week) I had to have my parents do it and I would practically pass out from a panic attack after each one. But we slowly got me more comfortable with the syringe its self, and with a lot of patience, I was finally able to give my own injections.

Honestly, the injection process is pretty easy, just making sure I'm drawing up the correct amount and getting over the initial anxiety of you know, stabbing my stomach.

Now onto the actual changes. I would say the first thing to hit was the voice cracks, and man, those hit me badly. for example, I went from soprano to baritone (and now I can't sing for the life of me lmao). 

The next thing to hit was the muscle change and body hair. Now I don't know if this happens in every case, but when my body was shifting around fat and muscle, I was sore after doing anything. I definitely had to get rid of a lot of clothes because my shoulders broadened and I got muscular in general. I was also one of the few who got facial hair quickly, mind you, I'm on lower doses as well. Genetics strongly play a part in how fast and noticeable these changes, my genetics just hit me like a truck. I didn't really get arm or stomach hair till I hit my half-year point.

To address dysphoria and how Testosterone affected that, It's very complicated. I do still get misgendered, even with my deep voice and facial hair. Since I got hit strongly by changes, it made my body dysmorphia go through the roof, but I'm slowly getting used to it.

Personally, the negatives I noticed would be how weird it feels for facial hair to grow in, ACNE, and my hairline receding. I've had a really bad time with acne, everywhere. I've tried many different face washes and such, to the point I got prescribed medical acne medication (which helps).  Also didn't know that my hairline would change, which was an unwelcome surprise. I'm actually growing my hair out to hide it lol.

Overall though, I don't regret starting testosterone. It helped a lot with dysphoria. I would suggest to people who want to start HRT to do research, learn what these hormones would do to your body, and if the negatives are outweighed by the positive, talk to your doctor about starting.