Philophobia || Dreamnotfound

22

Clay's POV

After pushing George away Clay stayed in his room for a long time.

He didn't leave for anyone. He pushed everyone away, Sapnap, Maia, even Jesse.

For five days he sat in his room, thinking about nothing and everything. He paced and paced, only interrupted by food and sleep, although he hardly slept. Five days filled with overthinking, crying, wishing, and regretting.

He thought about sneaking out through his window, but the drop was too steep. The first day, Clay left his room and tried to lose his guard, but everywhere he turned, the guard would be instantly at his side.

Clay longed to see George, he wanted to explain everything. But as each day passed, he could only imagine how bad George felt. He knew that he would understand any hatred felt towards him. Clay had taught George how to become close with someone and now they were farther apart than ever.

His chest broke at the thought of George alone. He hated himself for what he did and how shitty of a person he was.

Clay could only hope that George was okay.

Today was the day. Clay stood in front of the mirror, eyes blank. That last event was in a few hours, it was another dance. A dance that was held all night, from sunset to sunrise. At midnight, the winner would be announced and Clay would be expected to dance the rest of the night with that person.

It was also his birthday, but that was the furthest thing from his mind. He studied his reflection, an emotionless person standing in front of him, dressed in dark green, his signature color. His hair was ruffled like usual, clearly tugged on. The dance wasn't a masquerade, so he didn't need to wear a mask.

All he could think about was George. Was he okay? Did he hate him? Clay wouldn't blame George if he decided to skip the dance.

Clay let out a long, tired sigh and left his room. He headed to the ballroom, the event starting in a matter of minutes. His face saddened as he looked at the stairs where George had descended all those weeks ago. Where George had looked ethereal and how he looked at Clay with caution, but slowly accepting his feelings. George had looked perfect under the moonlight on the balcony, his dark eyes always observant and on that night they had looked thoughtful, open.

They would not look that way tonight.

Clay grabbed a glass of wine, barely hearing the birthday wishes sent his way. He swallowed a glassful, letting the tart flavor burn down his throat. The fine wine was soon gone from his glass. He set it on a servant's tray and looked towards the stairs, waiting for the royals to be announced.

His guard wasn't at his side tonight, his parents didn't want him getting in the way, so that was some relief. Clay saw Wilbur at the top of the stairs, holding a scroll and instructing a few royals. He could see a few princes and princesses, but not George. Wilbur started announcing the royals one by one, going in order of how close their kingdom was to the SMP.

Clay offered Cara a small smile as she walked down, in turn she waved gently. The royals proceeded, Clay only knowing a few. He should've introduced himself to more, but he never had, too focused on George. He saw Maia and Fundy, and eventually... George.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw George. He was dressed in a dark blue, a color that suited him extremely well. His dark hair was brushed, framing his pale face and brown eyes. George's expression was carefully blank, not meeting Clay's stare.

"Clay! There you are, I've been looking for you!" a familiar prince exclaimed as he approached.

Clay gave him a small smile, "Hi Fundy."